Its Better Not Knowing

I was on Facebook the other day and came to a realization. What's going on with Facebook is something that I have known for a long time but finally decided to comment on. Facebook and social media are a massive issue in our society. Facebook has set its algorithm to express discord in society. Politics discussed on Facebook has even caused problems in my family. It used to be that my military friends did not really discuss politics. Some of the people I admire and care about the most post some of the most political and questionable clips and comments on Facebook. Where I still respect them and care about them, I question where they are emotional with some of their posts. Sometimes I just sit back and shake my head at some of the things that they believe. Sometimes those posts make me question their intellect. I know these people are more intelligent than what they're putting on their Facebook page. I just know it. I have spent time with them.

I just believe it was better not knowing where they stand on issues. We have fought, deployed, and been there for each other; we know each other's families and spend hours together. We have celebrated birthdays, hunted, and fished together. We know a lot about each other. I was always conscious of their political beliefs. Still, I never saw it expounded upon to where it has become visceral. I still love them. It makes me not want to engage with them because I know politics will come up. Even though I care about them, I question some of their thoughts and motives. I have always respected them. I will continue to care about them. I just think sometimes it is better not knowing for sure. Facebook has opened a way for people to put their feelings and beliefs out there. I wonder how many friendships have been lost because of a post on Facebook. To me, all politicians are liars and crooks. It's all about the politicians and maintaining power. They really don't care about us as citizens. We need to quit discussing politics on social media.  I am just concerned about where our society is headed because of social media. Politics is only one part of it. I really believe we're better off not knowing where our friends and family stand for sure. I think it would help our society.

For questions or comments, you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel After Duty Vets or like us on Facebook at After Duty Vets.    

Why are we Disrespecting our Flag?

I have been struggling recently trying to understand why people insist on using or changing the American flag to meet their political agenda. American flags are being flown upside down. Others have decided to embed other country's symbols and military insignias on it. This is disrespectful to our country and our flag. The colors are also being changed by some for the thin blue line, firefighters, gay pride, and various other reasons. In my opinion, the flag needs to be left alone, unmolested and flown at the top of a flagpole waving freely as designed. 

Flying the American flag upside down is legal to my dismay. It falls into the same free speech category as burning the flag. The Flag Code clearly states that the American flag is not to be flown upside down "except as a signal of dire distress in an instance of extreme danger to life or property." I do not believe we are there yet, and it bothers me why people think it is OK to disrespect our country in this manner. I have seen the flag being flown upside down a lot recently to make political statements, this is upsetting for me to see this happening.

One of the biggest things that I see now is people think it is OK to embed different symbols into the American flag. There can be an argument made that changing the flag does not make it the American flag anymore, and I understand that. To me changing the flag is disrespectful. The flag should stand alone without modifications, it should not be used as a political prop or a reason to get your point across. The American flag is about the strength of our country. To me putting other symbols in the flag does nothing but divide us, the purpose of the flag is to unite not divide. I am not happy seeing it used as something to divide us. It does not matter your stance on any matter if you want a flag to represent your political stance or agenda create one that does not include modifying the American flag. The symbol of freedom should not be modified and used as a conduit to divide us as a country. 

My guess is some of those who are against burning the flag are OK with flying the flag upside down. Where both flying the flag upside down, burning, and stomping on the flag is protected by the constitution according to The US Supreme Court, that does not make it OK. To me, it has to do with disrespect to the country and those who have fought under the American flag. It appears our society has fallen to its lowest point since the civil war. People have started using the American flag to divide us and that needs to stop. Why are we doing this to our country? The flag is a symbol of our freedoms that we have fought so hard for. Why have we decided it's OK to desecrate the flag? Flying the flag upside down is a sign of distress. To some flying the flag upside down may be warranted, but to folks like me, it is difficult to see. It makes me angry that Americans are so disrespectful to the symbol of freedom throughout the world.

For questions or comments, you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel After Duty Vets or like us on Facebook at After Duty Vets.    

Is Pulling out of Afghanistan Good or Bad

I was talking to a friend the other day and he asked me if pulling out of Afghanistan was a good or bad idea, I said yes. There’s not a good answer. Since president Biden announced removing troops from Afghanistan by September 11th, I've been having conversations with other veterans and they also have mixed feelings about it. This war has lasted 20 years is weighed heavily on the active duty, veteran, and military communities. There are multiple reasons why it is good to get out, there are also multiple reasons why we should stay. At the end of the day, there is not a good option, I believe President Biden is choosing the best bad option.

What most people don't understand about Afghanistan is others have tried to control it for centuries. From what I can find in history, the Mongols, Alexander the Great, British, Russians, and now the US to name a few have tried and failed. It should be obvious, that this part of the world doesn't want to be controlled by a single power. Many of the Afghani people do not consider themselves Afghans. They are tribal and do not recognize a centralized government. The mountains are alive with tribes more than willing to do what it takes to save their way of life. To me, it appears obvious that the Afghans want to control their destinies. They're willing to fight anybody who stands in their way. Not everyone wants democracy, and it appears the Afghani people just want to be left alone.  

The best thing about pulling out of Afghanistan is, we will not lose any more troops. We have lost more than 2400 troops because of our 20-year war in Afghanistan. That does not include those injured. So many active-duty families have been destroyed by this war. Mental health issues, physical injuries, and constant deployments caused the destruction of a lot of families over the last 20 years of this campaign. The destruction of families will continue just like Vietnam did. Military families and veterans have endured 20 years of constant deployments, increase ops tempo’s, and failed policies. On top of the losses to families and our troops, the money used to fund the war can be used elsewhere to combat the enemies that we are facing today, China and Russia. Terrorism will still be alive, but I feel the true threat is a cyber-attack.

The bad part about pulling out is allowing the Taliban to come back in and have a place to train their terrorist. Those who will lose the most are the Afghan women who had made large strides to become a huge part of their society. Those gains will be lost and can create a host of issues when it comes to human rights. Losing a foothold in the region also can be problematic, and the fear of ethnic cleansing is a real fear. But the one thing that most veterans will be struggling with is the feeling that they lost their friends for nothing. The loss of their comrades and a multitude of injuries can cause veterans who fought and lost their friends to struggle with depression and anger. 

What is disheartening is less than 1% of Americans have fought since September 11th, 2001. Those of lower Socio-Economic Status (SES), poor people, have been the ones that paid the largest price. When I started writing this column, I went looking for the details in the news about the pull out of Afghanistan. The headlines were not the pulling out of Afghanistan, the news was David Hasselhoff’s daughter on the front page of Playboy magazine and Britney Spears. I had to dig to find details on the US pulling out of Afghanistan. The American people and the media do not care, most don’t have dog in the fight. 

What we need to remember if you are against pulling out of Afghanistan. It has been proven time and time again that our military is capable to deploy anywhere quickly. During Desert Shield/Storm my unit was flying combat missions 24 hours after we left Langley AFB in Virginia. We arrived in Saudi Arabia loaded and ready to go. I am glad we are pulling out. I feel we need to change our focus on the bigger threats like Russia, and China. If they gain the capability of taking out our satellites and Global Positioning System (GPS), the United States will be dead in the water, literally.      

For questions or comments, you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel After Duty Vets or like us on Facebook at After Duty Vets.  

Veterans Continue to Chase Demons

One of the biggest issues I see with my clients are their struggles with demons from their past. Every veteran handles their Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) differently, including their war demons. Many veterans continue to chase their demons in their nightmare well in to their 70’s and 80’s, and some never catch them. The demons they chase have caused unhealthy relationships, poor sleep, and an unhealthy lifestyle for most of them. Their demons have caused substance abuse, divorces, negative effects on their children, and a loss of control in their lives. So many veterans have hung on to and suppressed those demons for over 50 years.

I have multiple Vietnam Veterans on my caseload who struggle with their nightmares. It is interesting how they have allowed their demons to remain in their life for so long. The stigma for getting help was stronger than their will to address their demons. The stigma of seeking mental health has kept a multitude of Vietnam Veterans from getting help. It appears that some Vietnam veterans have finally seen the light and decided to do something about the demons they have been chasing in their dreams. For those who seek help the demons can go away, they can finally get the good night's sleep that they have been longing for over 50 years. Some Vietnam Veterans were able to suppress their demons until they retired. They were too busy working to ensure the success of their families. It was not until they retired that the terrors came back because they had lost their purpose and had time to think about the past.     

I am hoping that what happened to the Vietnam Veterans will not continue for the new veterans. The recent wars, Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF), and Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) has brought on a new idea surrounding mental health help. The newest generation of veteran appear to be getting the help that they need to suppress their demons before they take over their lives. There are still a lot of veterans out there who struggle with getting help so they can live their life.

It even seems like some veterans like their demons. They don't know how to live without them. I hope the demons of the newer generation will be less intrusive than those of their predecessors because they make a different choice, the choice to get help. With the newer veterans it appears to be OK to get the help need. While on Active Duty the stigma is still attached to mental health issues and seeking help for PTSD is still seen as weak. The stigma is often carried into their civilian attitude once they get out of the military, but that appears to be changing. If their issues are not dealt with, they can cause a host of issues for the rest of their lives, Vietnam veterans have proven that.   

It is my hope that all veterans will quit chasing their demons. Seeking help for your demons is a choice. If you choose not to get help, then the onus is on you. My question is why are you choosing to live your life with these demons when you can learn to control them?  There is nothing wrong with confronting or embracing your demons to control them instead of them controlling you. I find it hard to believe that seeing a therapist is scarier than living with your demons. Why live your life letting your demons control you? Getting help is a choice. You must choose to combat your demons like you fought your enemies. The choice to have a better life is yours.

For questions or comments, you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel After Duty Vets or like us on Facebook at After Duty Vets.  

Are We Losing our Good Will in Society?

The Vietnam war was a turning point in our country. Vietnam was the first true television war that was not propaganda for the government. Vietnam was the first time Americans got to see what war was really like. Because of what civilians saw in the media people started to turn against veterans, causing veterans to lose good will in the community. The negative turn was not deserved and caused a lot of pain for veterans of that era. The negativity should have been focused on the government and not the soldiers, but that is another story for later. When people returned from World War I, World War II and the Korean War veterans were accepted with open arms for saving democracy from communism and fascism. Most older veterans knew what war was like and understood what Vietnam veterans had been through. It was different for the younger generation; they did not get it. Vietnam is when people realized that war is truly hell because they could see it on their television screen. Our soldiers in Vietnam were just trying to survive and they did things that had always been done in war. We have always had to kill folks in war, and sometimes it was civilians, it was just not seen on television like it was in Vietnam. After years those who protested realize what they had done to the Vietnam era veterans and tried to recant their protests. They had become older and more understanding.  

When I return from Desert Storm things were different than those who returned from Vietnam. The Vietnam Veterans made sure that we got the welcome home they never received. Those of us who returned were subjected two lot of good will from society. This continued through desert storm, 9/11, Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom. The goodwill had been re-built over time. Since we have been in combat since 1989 there is an entire generation of adults who do not know what the U.S. is like not being in war. Society appears to appreciate the sacrifices veterans have made throughout the years. Finally, the Vietnam Veterans had gotten the respect they deserved. But what concerns me is recent actions has caused us to lose the goodwill that we have fought for in society.

I have been hearing some troublesome thoughts from people, even some politicians since the insurrection. So many Active-Duty, Veterans, and Police Officers were a part of the insurrection that people are starting to look at veterans as not being loyal to the country. Yes, there was a small percentage of Active Duty, Veterans and Police Officers that participated in the insurrection. If politicians and civilians start thinking this way the military will lose all the benefits we fought for and good will we have created over the years. Society might start treating us like they did the Vietnam Veterans in the 1960’s and 70’s. It is actions like the insurrection that could put all veterans services in jeopardy.

I know a lot of veterans, and none I talked to was OK with what happened in Washington DC during the insurrection. Most were horrified that veterans and military members would do something like they did. But what we need to realize is many of those who turned against their oath and participated in the insurrection did so partially because of the way they felt they were treated in society.

What veterans lack most of all in the civilian world is a lack of purpose. Those veterans who participated in the insurrection were given something by the militia groups that society could not give them, a since of purpose, and appreciation for their skills. Militia’s use veterans need for a purpose by appreciating their skills. These militia groups made these veterans feel appreciated and accepted. Society played a part in veterans’ participation in the insurrection. I believe it's important that society understands that and takes responsibility for their part in veterans participating in the uprising. I would also like to note that these Veterans, Active-Duty members and Police Officers should face the consequences of their actions. I'm not trying to give them a pass, I'm just trying to explain to people why someone would disregard their oath and do something as disrespectful as to trying to overthrow our government and way of life.   

For questions or comments, you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel After Duty Vets or like us on Facebook at after duty vets.  

Writing Can Be Helpful for Your Mental Health

When I first started writing my wife said damn, I'm glad you started writing, now I don't have to listen to all your complaining. That’s when I realized the importance of writing and have been doing it ever since. Writing has allowed me an opportunity to get my frustrations out. In 2016 I was fortunate enough to be selected by the Writers Guild of America to attend their veteran’s writing group in LA. It was a weekend seminar with Hollywood writers as mentors. I learned how movies and TV shows were written and it was an eye-opener. After that adventure was over, I found the veteran writer’s group at Cal State San Bernardino (CSUSB). This group is sponsored by the veteran’s success center at CSUSB. They have helped me publish two books and keeps me motivated to write. 

For the last seven years, I have been writing this column and it has been therapeutic for me. It gives me a sense of accomplishment by believing I am changing the lives of my fellow veterans through information and education. I have introduced some of my clients to writing and it has had a lot of success. Writing serves multiple purposes. It gives the freedom to be yourself and open-up on things you were not prepared to talk about to family and friends. So many veterans feel they cannot talk to others for fear of judgment.

What I have found is people can write their stories any way they want. They own their stories and can put as much or as little as they want. This allows them to get their thoughts and their feelings out offering them a sense of relief. Many of them have started opening-up to their families about their feelings creating a dialogue that they never had while building trust. This dialogue does not have to happen if you choose not to show it to others, many folks write for themselves never divulging their work. I have had multiple clients who use this distraction to help them get past their nightmares. They use writing to help them work through their negative thoughts, and it works.

Writing has many values; it can play a distraction to the everyday mundane things that frustrate you. This distraction can be anywhere from normal life situations, flashbacks, and memories of your past. If you're writing about those flashbacks and memories it serves as a way to get it out of your head so you can move forward. Many veterans in my veterans’ group do not write about their issues or feelings. Some of them write fantasies, some combat veterans write horror flicks. They use their combat as a positive thing distracting them from their real-life horrors.   

Not only can writing be a distraction it also allows for a free thought process to just vent your frustrations. So many times veterans get frustrated at what's going on in the world. It is therapeutic to get the feelings out by writing. So many veterans have told me in the past that they are not writers and they don't like to write, well neither did I and here I am. The main thing writing has done for me and my clients it has given us a sense of purpose, accomplishment, and emotional freedom.

I would challenge every veteran to start writing when they get frustrated. There is nothing wrong with sitting down and getting your thoughts and feelings down on paper. I have known multiple veterans who have started writing their life stories. Many of these veterans are in their 70s. They are grateful because it has given them an avenue to talk to their families about their lives. If you want to learn to write or want encouragement, please contact the veteran’s writers’ group at CSUSB. I will put their contact information below. If you would like to talk to me about this group, you can email me. Until then happy writing!

For questions or comments, you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel After Duty Vets or like us on Facebook at after duty vets.  

Cancel Culture Can Be Detrimental to Veterans

So many veterans struggle with the way society is once we get out. Veterans are known for their hard ass perspective on issues. They are subjected to people’s misconceptions on a continual basis. One of the toughest thing’s veterans deal with is walking the fine line of being ourselves and dealing with cancel culture. A veteran’s sense of humor can appear to be insensitive to some. It is hard when you see people being criticized and losing their jobs for making what others perceive as inappropriate comments.  Veterans are known for calling out people and continue to struggle in this environment. They try not to cross that line, but it can be an issue for some. It all starts because veterans have different ways of looking at things than the average civilian.  

Most veterans have a dark sense of humor or look on life that is not understood by civilians. Most veterans have been put in situations where they had to deal with life and death on a consistent basis, even taking someone's life if necessary. When you spend time with veterans you realize they often put a positive spin on things because they need to maintain their sanity. Many veterans have been blown up, have head injuries, or missing limbs. They need to laugh at inappropriate things in order to handle their situation. These veterans do not want people to look at them is being injured, they want them to look at them as being a whole person. So many people struggle seeing these veterans as a whole person, all they see is their injury. So many injured veterans turn to their dark and inappropriate sense of humor in order to survive. That is what civilians do not understand. Even if you had never been blown up or injured most veterans or their families know someone who has made inappropriate comments and know where it comes from and overlook it. We understand why they are making the comments they are.  

Veterans struggle with being politically correct because they need it to emotionally survive. That is why cancel culture in our society is so hard for veterans to deal with. Some veterans struggle with what people think where others don't care because they have seen the worst humankind can put out. We have seen our friends killed, maimed, discarded by society, so we struggle with caring about how people feel about getting their feelings hurt. I know it can appear to be a little cold and callous, but some veterans feel they need it to emotionally survive.

Cancel culture is hard on veterans and probably affects us more the most people realize. Some veterans often use that lack of political correctness because they feel people have become weak and unable to emotionally work through the tough times. Veterans say inappropriate things at times because they believe it's necessary because of what we've been through and what civilians believe is important.

In my job I ask veterans daily how they “feel “about certain situations. I can get away with it because I understand it. Sometimes my veteran clients open and sometimes they don't. Sometimes they dodge discussing their feelings because it is too painful. They just want to discuss why people don't understand them. The reality is veterans have had deal with life and death situations some civilians cannot fathom. Veterans have lost loved ones in violent situations that cause them pain. Some veterans struggle to understand why so many people get upset at what veterans perceive as inconsequential issues. Some veterans have seen the worst humanity can show them and really don't care about how you feel because they do not believe you care to understand why they are OK with making inappropriate comments. 

For questions or comments you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com, and subscribe to my YouTube channel or like us on Facebook at afterdutyvets.

Should Veterans lose their benefits?

The Capital insurrection was over a month ago, it feels like years though. As Congress continues to bicker about whose fault the insurrection was, there is clear evidence that the President at the time wanted it to happen. If there are not consequences for those who participated in the uprising it will happen again, next time it might be successful. People who compare the incident to the Black Lives Matter (BLM) protest over the summer need to remember, the BLM protests that happened over the summer were not an attempt to overthrow the government like the insurrection on 6 January 2021was. To my dismay there were a lot of veterans, civil servants, and active-duty troops that participated in the insurrection that killed 5 people. One of those killed was a Capital police officer, and a former National Guard Member with two deployments. He was beaten to death for doing his job by the mob.

Some of these folks who attacked the Capital building get retirement, disability, and paychecks from the US Government, the same government they were trying to overthrow. They killed a military Veteran and one of our own… there must be consequences. This begs the question, should those former or present government employees who participated in the insurrection receive benefits from any government agency, including the Veterans Administration (VA)? The removal of the American Flag and being replaced by the Make America Great Again (MAGA) flag at the Capital of the United States was a tell of what the insurrectionist wanted to happen. Do these folks deserve their benefits?  

Those of us who have served in the military took an oath to protect the constitution of the United States. As far as I know that oath has no expiration date. Those who participated in the insurrection broke that oath. Call me naïve but I truly feel these folks that made that oath should have known better, they made a poor choice by following the mob, and bad choices have consequences. There are jails full of folks who made bad choice. Should veterans who participated in the insurrection be given a pass because they served their country?

There are those out there who feel that veterans and Active-Duty personnel should be given a pass. Here is my question to them, should a veteran or Active-duty member be giving a pass for a Driving under the influence (DUI) arrest and killing someone because they are veterans? How about giving them a pass for domestic violence (DV)? I don’t think so. Those of us who are retired from the military can be called back to active duty, so those who are retired veterans and participated in the insurrection could in theory be called back to active duty and court martialed for their actions. Just like anything else in the government, it depends on the situation and the type of retirement. Some constitutional scholars believe it is unconstitutional to recall retirees to active duty where others believe it to be constitutional. It appears that this topic might end up in the supreme courts, but the supreme court confirmed a case to be constitutional by not hearing a lower court ruling where a retiree was called to active duty for court martial in 2015.

I understand that I will get some folks who disagree with me on this topic, but that’s OK. I just want us to come together as a country and put politics aside. We need to look at the facts and make our own decisions. It is important to get facts from reliable sources, but that is in question today. Veterans know right from wrong, if not they should have never been let in the military. I feel the veterans who participated in the insurrection at the capital should suffer the consequences of their actions. If there not held accountable it will tell others in the future that this is OK. At the end of the day, you teach people how to treat you and by not holding these folks accountable we are telling them that its OK to try and overthrow the government. If nothing is done and there are no consequences IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN!

For questions or comments you can contact me at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit my website at www.afterdutyvets.com and like us on Facebook @ afterdutyvets.