Vets Continue to Support Each Other

I was at the LA book fair and talking to a couple of fellow veteran authors about what we miss about the military. Some said they missed the traveling, others missed the friendships, while others miss the structure, but all of us agreed that we miss most is the comradery. Having the ability to be around others who have been in similar situations is irreplaceable. We all understand each other; we can joke around and pick on each other and display our dark sense of humor without being judged. One of the biggest things we have in common is having to adapt quickly to new situations, including dealing with people we do not know. For the most part we were all assigned to places that were away from our home towns. We also had to leave our families for the unknown. We have all been placed in the same boat at one time or another. We were forced to move away from family, high school friends, and acquaintances. All military members have been sent into a situation where we were ordered to a new environment or situation where we knew no one. That is what we all had in common, we had to find a way to adapt to the new environment and depend on strangers. Those strangers become the ones we trusted, even though we came from a different race, or background, we all needed to place our biases aside to reach a common goal… the mission.

When we were “home” we had our high school friends and family members to help with us with what we needed to get done. When we joined the military, we lost the help from those relationships we have fostered throughout our lives. We struggled to relate to civilian classmates and friends because time passed and we changed because the military changed who we were, we struggled to relate to our civilian friends. Those friends and family were hundreds if not thousands of miles away and often had a different outlook on life than we had. We had become accustomed to the loss of relationships as we moved on from assignment to assignment, lost friends to combat and suicide. We became hardened to the realities of life and our attitude displayed the change. The idea of moving on became our norm as we went forward with our duty.  

As we moved on to new assignments, we would not know anyone. We would get to our new assignment nervous of what we were getting into. For the most part we would arrive with no friends, family, feeling alone and vulnerable. What we didn’t realize was there were a lot of people there who have been in the same situation and were willing to help. They often would volunteer to help you because they have been there too. They soon become your family of choice, those you depend on throughout your tour. They were there to help you make the transition, often this carried over to the spouses.  

Those of us who were married always had the single folks at our house. Especially during the holidays, they were hard on everyone, especially the single folks. Food was always the key to making things work. The single folks had few chances to get home cooked meals. They would visit and spend the holidays and birthdays with their family of choice. Get togethers were common and bonds were made. Cookouts became the norm with multiple families getting together with their kids and the single troops from the barracks. As we moved from assignment to assignment or went back “home” we still remember the support we had while in the military and we missed it.   

At the book fair as we discussed what we missed, it was evident that the bond we have between all of us was strong because we have all been in the same situations at one time or another. It was true, we were all at the book fair to promote our books, but we were also there to support each other. We help each other develop as authors and give constructive criticism. We read each other’s work; we share our work with each other. We toss around ideas and ask questions. We feel safe with each other because it is in our DNA to help each other thrive. Everyone who comes in is welcomed and accepted. In our group we have all generations of veterans from Vietnam to present, we have veteran family members including spouses, children, and brothers and sisters of veterans. We all have connections to the military, and it is nice to feel safe. The group is about writing, but it is also about getting back the relationships we lost once we separated from the military. We usually meet once a month to support each other and float ideas for new books or screenplays. I welcome all veterans and their families to come and check it out. You do not need to be a student at the college. If you have ever thought about writing a book or screen play, we can help you. Hope to see you there.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Should the President Pardon War Criminals?

I had a retired soldier in my office other day. Carl was livid that the President was even considering pardoning someone who committed war crimes. Carl is one of those soldiers who has retired from his duty and believes society has gone downhill and lost its morality. As a soldier and the son of a career Army veteran he struggles because people do not hold true to their word, values, and morals.  Carl feels those who have committed war crimes should pay for that crime on both sides. That brought up a good question and one to ponder. Should those who commit war crimes be pardoned? From a psychological issue, it becomes a different thought. Things happen in war that scar almost everyone involved. I can see where someone would psychologically snap under certain circumstances and do something they normally would not do, still is it right to kill someone who is detained, in US custody, and suspected of being an insurgent?

Carl believes that if the war criminals are pardoned it will send a message to the world that the United States has lost their values and moral compass. He also worries it will have an ill effect on how our troops are treated in the future when their captured, I can see his point, but I also can see why a pissed off troop can want to enact revenge on someone who just killed their friend. Carlos spent his entire time in the Army training his soldiers the importance of following the rules and orders. Carl is worried that by pardoning the war criminals it will give soldiers the idea that they can do what they want in combat, orders will not be followed, and the battlefield will become a free for all allowing soldiers to kill indiscriminately without due process.  

It is true that today’s battlefield is different. We are not fighting a conventional war; we are fighting a war where the enemy is elusive, resourceful, and organized, the enemy can come from anywhere. They use un-conventual tactics such as improvised explosive devices (IED’s), suicide bombers, and children with suicide vests. Often, they do not fight in the open, they are hidden using technology to their benefit using cell phones to set off explosive devices from a distance. The enemy does not see life as we do. Our enemy look’s at life differently, using our moral compass against us.  They torture and kill our troops who they capture, causing us to want to follow them down the road to immorality so they can use the propaganda against us. I would find it easy to be willing to harm or kill the enemy once they are captured, especially if their believed to be or are the one who killed one of my troops or friends. It would be easy to take that step when your adrenaline is up and in the heat of the moment. Psychologically it is difficult to walk away and not commit the war crime when someone you cared about was killed by the individual in question. I can see where someone could take that step even though it is against Geneva Convention rules where those captured and suspected of being an active insurgent are protected against murder, torture, as well as cruel, humiliating or degrading treatment. But it is an unlawful step to take and can have severe consequences for themselves and future troops sent into the combat zone. The question needed asking… is it worth the cost? Revenge does not help the cause. It only helps the person who is committing the war crime to feel better for a short time.

I agree with Carl; we should not allow a pardon to someone who has committed a war crime. By giving the pardon it tells our soldiers that they can do whatever they want on the battlefield and possibly be pardoned, it tells them it is OK. A pardon can cause the loss of discipline among the ranks creating a bigger problem. By giving the pardons, it also tells our enemy that we will let those who committed war crimes free. This in return gives the enemy permission to do what they want to our troops. It also tells our allies that we no longer have the moral high ground, putting their troops in a precarious position if their captured because they are allied with us. I truly do not think pardoning military troops who commit war crimes is a good idea, but I can see where some would feel it is the right thing and OK to do. The President stated they should not be punished for doing their job. In fact, one of the president’s personal attorneys is representing one of the people accused of committing war crime. The truth is those who are being brought to trial or have been brought to trial are being punished for not following orders, breaking UCMJ laws, and not following article 3 of the Geneva Convention. If they were doing their job, they would not have to be on trial or convicted.

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For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Vets Continue to Support Each Other

I was at the LA book fair and talking to a couple of fellow veteran authors about what we miss about the military. Some said they missed the traveling, others missed the friendships, while others miss the structure, but all of us agreed that we miss most is the comradery. Having the ability to be around others who have been in similar situations is irreplaceable. We all understand each other; we can joke around and pick on each other and display our dark sense of humor without being judged. One of the biggest things we have in common is having to adapt quickly to new situations, including dealing with people we do not know. For the most part we were all assigned to places that were away from our home towns. We also had to leave our families for the unknown. We have all been placed in the same boat at one time or another. We were forced to move away from family, high school friends, and acquaintances. All military members have been sent into a situation where we were ordered to a new environment or situation where we knew no one. That is what we all had in common, we had to find a way to adapt to the new environment and depend on strangers. Those strangers become the ones we trusted, even though we came from a different race, or background, we all needed to place our biases aside to reach a common goal… the mission.

When we were “home” we had our high school friends and family members to help with us with what we needed to get done. When we joined the military, we lost the help from those relationships we have fostered throughout our lives. We struggled to relate to civilian classmates and friends because time passed and we changed because the military changed who we were, we struggled to relate to our civilian friends. Those friends and family were hundreds if not thousands of miles away and often had a different outlook on life than we had. We had become accustomed to the loss of relationships as we moved on from assignment to assignment, lost friends to combat and suicide. We became hardened to the realities of life and our attitude displayed the change. The idea of moving on became our norm as we went forward with our duty.  

As we moved on to new assignments, we would not know anyone. We would get to our new assignment nervous of what we were getting into. For the most part we would arrive with no friends, family, feeling alone and vulnerable. What we didn’t realize was there were a lot of people there who have been in the same situation and were willing to help. They often would volunteer to help you because they have been there too. They soon become your family of choice, those you depend on throughout your tour. They were there to help you make the transition, often this carried over to the spouses.  

Those of us who were married always had the single folks at our house. Especially during the holidays, they were hard on everyone, especially the single folks. Food was always the key to making things work. The single folks had few chances to get home cooked meals. They would visit and spend the holidays and birthdays with their family of choice. Get togethers were common and bonds were made. Cookouts became the norm with multiple families getting together with their kids and the single troops from the barracks. As we moved from assignment to assignment or went back “home” we still remember the support we had while in the military and we missed it.   

At the book fair as we discussed what we missed, it was evident that the bond we have between all of us was strong because we have all been in the same situations at one time or another. It was true, we were all at the book fair to promote our books, but we were also there to support each other. We help each other develop as authors and give constructive criticism. We read each other’s work; we share our work with each other. We toss around ideas and ask questions. We feel safe with each other because it is in our DNA to help each other thrive. Everyone who comes in is welcomed and accepted. In our group we have all generations of veterans from Vietnam to present, we have veteran family members including spouses, children, and brothers and sisters of veterans. We all have connections to the military, and it is nice to feel safe. The group is about writing, but it is also about getting back the relationships we lost once we separated from the military. We usually meet once a month to support each other and float ideas for new books or screenplays. I welcome all veterans and their families to come and check it out. You do not need to be a student at the college. If you have ever thought about writing a book or screen play, we can help you. Hope to see you there.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.