Still Fighting the System After all These Years

Since I retired in 2004 I have been fighting the Veterans Administration (VA) over issues brought on by the abuse my body took after 20 years in the Air Force. One of the biggest mistakes I made was not complaining about physical issue while in the military. Like most military members I was shamed and guilted into not complain about any medical issues, and ridiculed if I did not press on unless the issue was life threatening. I rarely went to sick call or the doctor. When I did seek medical treatment, it was for colds and viruses, seldom for aches and pains from abuse my body was taking. When I did go to the doctor for aches and pains I was given “Air Force candy”, Motrin. I knew the treatment so I did not go, I went to the Base Exchange and got my own Motrin. When I reached my 30’s the physical abuse of my body started catching up with me. I still didn’t complain and pressed on like a good Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO).

When I retired I remember telling my wife, I’ve got to quit being a truck mechanic. I could not continue to bend wrenches and jump off the back of trucks like I used to, it was too hard on my body and the pains were catching up with me. I decided to go back to school so I could get a desk job and stop abusing my body the way I had for 20 years. About a year and a half after I retired, I struggled to walk without severe pain. I was surprised when I was told by the doctor I needed surgery on both knees, I did not think they were that bad. As I get older I find myself falling apart with a lot of medical issues including aches and pains that I believe are directly relate to the abuse my body took while in the Air Force.

After receiving another denial letter from the VA for issues I am suffering, I spent an entire day going through my military medical records looking for evidence to support my claim. I did find some evidence but not enough to show a chronic issue. There was little in there because we were shamed and guilted into not complaining. If I couldn’t do PT, my job, deploy, or whatever it took to get the job done I would be considered weak and dispensable, so I didn’t complain about my twisted ankles, hurting knees, back, shoulders, and any other joints that I have been abusing for years, I just “walked it off” like a good troop. Of course, there’s not much documentation of my issues in my official medical records, I didn’t complain, I continued to do my work through the pain, thus causing more damage.

There comes a point in time to where common sense needs to prevail with the VA compensation section. Almost everyone who has spent time in the military knows that they’re probably going to be physical issues stemming from the abuse their bodies took while serving their country. Carrying 100-pound rucksack, working on equipment, jumping off trucks, tanks, Bradley’s, or whatever plays hell on ankles, knees, back, hips, and shoulders. There is also little doubt that we have a higher probability of developing hearing issues. Most equipment, weapons, explosions, aircraft, and various other loud noises create a high decibel level which can cause prolong hearing loss.

After continuing to fight the system I understand why people give up, it looks to me like the system is rigged. You can’t be awarded a claim because you didn’t complain, you were told to “shut up and color” or considered weak if your body couldn’t take the abuse while serving. I understand there are those who abuse the system, and they should be weeded out. But I also know that if I hadn’t served 20 years in the military I would not be having the body aches and pains I presently have. My body took abuse for 20 years and I could not complain, this has put me in the position I’m in now, no evidence. I have decided I am going to fight the VA until the day I die, if for no other reason, principle. For those of you out there who feel the same way I do, all I can say is don’t give up. Be a good troop and press on.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

The Battles Continue for Veterans

I met Frank at the Vet center where he is going to college. Frank is an operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) veteran with two tours, he has seen more than any 27-year-old should ever have to. He is struggling to work through what happened while he was deployed and since his return to the “real world”. Since his return home he has been battling multiple fronts and having to fight different fights. Frank was married and has a six-year-old daughter, now he is divorced and lives alone. He has been battling with the Veterans Administration (VA) over his disability, causing frustration and anger. He has been going to college but struggles dealing with the younger generation. He has recently added a battle within himself, the battle over how he feels about his time in Iraq. His emotional issues have taken over his life. Not only is he battling what he saw and had to do in Iraq, he is having to deal with emotional issues that followed him home.

Those issues have played a huge part in his families struggles. He and his wife have divorced like so many other veterans’ whose relationships have suffered the same fate. When Frank left for the first deployment he was not married. He did not want to get married to his girlfriend because he worried he would not make it back. The first deployment affected him a little, but he felt it was nothing he could not handle. After his first deployment he and his girlfriend got married and had a daughter. They had been married about 3 years and he was again called to deploy. This time he had a wife and daughter to be concerned about. Like all good troops he went and did his duty. Frank explained how he remembers the first time his problem with PTSD was noticed. After about 8 months in theatre Frank’s Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge (NCOIC) started to get concerned, he noticed Frank had become careless and would lose his temper more often. He finished his deployment and returned home to his wife and daughter. When Frank returned, he was happy, but it was not long before the return honeymoon period ended. About a year later his wife left with his daughter because of his drinking.  Frank was not the same guy she fell in love with. Up until this point Frank had been reluctant to get help from the VA. He finally took that step for help, but it was too late for his relationship.     

When Frank finally took the step to get help from the VA, another battle started. The VA is a huge bureaucratic nightmare and can be frustrating. His first step was behavioral health, he was placed on a waitlist. He soon became frustrated and came to see me while waiting for his spot to open up. About 2 months later he was called and given an appointment. Once it was all said and done, he received an 80% disability rating for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). During this time working through the VA bureaucracy he decided to start college.

Frank explained how he was nervous about going to college. No one in his family had taken that step. He started using his post-911 education benefits. He soon found that there were battles he had to fight in college too. The college is a state-run institution and the education program is a federal program. Frank had to deal with two different bureaucracies, as a rule bureaucracies do not play well with each other. Once he was done with battling dueling bureaucracies he had to deal with immature students.  These students don’t understand him and asked, “stupid questions” like “did you kill someone?” or “was the war worth it?” This became a battle he had to deal with, he had to maintain his composure and keep calm. They did appear to affect him, because he started to have another battle within himself, was the war worth it since ISIS had taken large chunks of Iraq?    

Frank, like some other veterans now question what they were fighting for. He was glued to the TV for a while when ISIS invaded Iraq and the Iraqi Army lost control of the land they had fought so hard, shed blood, and died for. He has stopped watching the news because it brings up the negative emotions he has been trying to suppress. Even before ISIS took over parts of Iraq he was struggling to deal with the cost of the war. Frank tells very few about how he feels about the wars. He converses with other veterans who have spoken up, but he keeps his comments to a minimum. He is caught in a battle with himself and his feelings, he does not know how to feel. Frank feels if he does not care about what is going on in Iraq then he is disloyal to those who we lost. If he feels anger all his emotions he has worked hard to suppress will arise. Frank feels he should want to go back and recover what he had fought so hard for.

I am seeing more and more veterans struggling with the situation in IRAQ and I don’t see an end to it. I have talked to several in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines who, like Frank don’t know how to feel. They mourn the loss and casualties of their brothers, while questioning whether it was all worth it. This is a hard place to be, it is difficult to feel your brothers died in vain, it’s a hard pill to swallow but many are starting to fight the battle. These are the same feelings the Vietnam veterans have been feeling for years, was it worth it. Only the individual veterans can answer that question.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Veterans and their Spouses Need to Understand the VA System

Even though I served 20 years in the Air Force and have been retired for 12 years I still did not understand exactly how the Veterans Administration (VA) works. After 32 years I am now on a mission to learn the VA system. I thought I would share some of what I have learned. Being retired I have Tri-care medical insurance and felt I didn’t need the VA medical system. I tried to not use the VA system believing I was taking appointments from veterans who needed them.   I had gotten my disability rating when I retired and believed did not have to set foot in a VA hospital or clinic because I have Tri-care. The one time I went to the VA was about 6 months after I retired and was not happy with the way I was treated, I waited 10 years to go back into the VA. I did not want to deal with the headaches of the VA, so I didn’t go, that was a big mistake on my part. My thought process changed when I filed to increase of my disability claim about 2 years ago. I found I had to start playing their game.

My claim was denied for lack of documentation because I had chosen to not use the VA system. I retrieved my civilian medical records and took them to the VA believing that would give the VA the needed documentation for my claim. After waiting about 2 hours at the VA records department I was unable to add my personal medical records to my VA medical records.  I needed permission from a VA primary care physician, which I did not have. I was required to sign up for a primary care provider at the VA, taking an appointment from another veteran who only has medical insurance through the VA. I received an appointment in a shockingly quick time. I now have 2 primary care physicians one from the VA and a civilian doctor from Tri-Care. I quickly found I did not understand the system. As I have learned the hard way the VA has 3 separate sections and they don’t talk to each other. The VA’s 3 sections are Veterans Healthcare Administration (VHA), Veterans Benefits Administration (VBA) and National Cemetery Administration.

The VHA healthcare system is the largest integrated health care system in the United States. What many do not know is each VA healthcare facility is managed as a separate entity. Every VA facility is different and offer different services. Often one of the biggest issues is the different VA facilities or entities not talking to each other. The VA runs more than 1,700 hospitals, clinics, and other facilities spread throughout the country. I have heard of several instances where a veteran goes to a different VA facility than their normal one and the visiting VA facility has no access to their medical records. Veterans need to be aware their VA medical records are not available when they travel unless the veteran registers to share them.  

The benefits section of the VA the VBA covers a multitude of items for service members, veterans, their dependents and survivors. The benefits section of the VA covers disability claims, education, training, home loans, and life insurance for qualifying members. The important thing to remember is the benefits section might not talk to your VA primary care provider for information about your claim. While talking to my VA primary care provider I found the information from my VA benefits claim, filed by a VA benefits contract doctor was not added to my permanent VA medical records. I had to tell my VA primary care doctor my diagnosis from a VA contract doctor. You have to stay on top of your information and claim. The people reading your compensation claim utilize all documentation, but you need to make sure all documentation is there. If you went to your VA primary care or civilian physician after the claims section has pulled your records for review they do not have your most recent information. If you have been diagnosed with a medical issue by a VA contract doctor do not assume it is in your VA medical records for your VA primary care doctor to see.   

The third section of the VA is the National Cemetery Administration. Many veterans and their families do not know that veterans and spouses can be buried at any of the 134 National cemeteries if they qualify, and most veterans do. Your local Veteran Service Organization (VSO’s) Should be able to help you. Your Funeral home should also be aware of the requirements for VA death benefits.   

In the end, you as the veteran or family member must stay on top of your documentation and claim. If you understand that the VA sections do not talk to each other it makes it easier for you to work through the system. It is in your best interest that you not assume the VA benefits section has all of the needed information for your claim. Make sure you understand how you can control the speed that claims get handled by understanding how the system works. For your health don’t assume your VA primary care physician has all of your needed information. Follow up to make sure the right section has the documentation needed to file a successful disability claim and your VA primary care doctor has the needed information to save your life.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Veterans Continue to Serve

Frank graduated from high school when he was 18 and didn’t know what to do, so he had made the decision to join the Army and become a paratrooper.  During his time he discovered the importance of leadership and taking care of the troops, something that would follow him throughout his life. After attaining the grade of Staff Sergeant (E-6) Frank made the decision to leave the Army. He had bigger plans for his life. He enrolled in college and graduated with his bachelor’s degree in computer information systems. But like few veterans who separate, he went back in the Army as an infantry officer. He later continued his education receiving his MBA to help him advance in his military career. As he rose in the ranks he was finally in the position to make a big difference. By having the experience of being an enlisted soldier he understood the need and importance for training, this is where he excelled.

Once Frank became the commander of a brigade he focused on training soldiers for the changing battlefield. Frank had the task of getting our troops ready to successfully run convoys in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was in charge of developing training for the post 9-11 era Army, a huge task to say the least. As he developed this training his goal was to save lives and do his part at getting the soldiers safely home. During the war Frank spent time in theatre helping train the Iraqi Army. The tactics he helped develop had now become an important part of the training in the Army and other Army’s in the world. True to Army form Frank was moved into a position where he   deployed to Afghanistan where he served as the leader of the US Army’s intelligence for that country. Frank retired from the Army in 2013 after 38 years of military service and began his civilian life.

Like most veterans Frank has a heart for helping veterans. He now runs the San Bernardino County Department of Veteran’s affairs. He took the reins from one of the most respected members of the county. In this position Frank has 9 veteran representatives and several office staff who help San Bernardino county veterans apply for their benefits among other duties in the largest county in the nation, another huge undertaking.

In fiscal year 2014 the San Bernardino County Department of Veteran’s affairs Franks office has helped Veterans and their families navigate the system and secure 4.8 million dollars in tuition waivers for San Bernardino county residents for college. The county Veterans Department also helps with securing earned benefits for veterans, helping them work through the red tape of the Veterans Administration’s system. The department has helped find housing for 166 homelessness veterans this year working with the San Bernardino Sheriff’s Homeless Outreach Proactive Enforcement program HOPE team. The deputies in this program seek out homeless veterans and send them to the county veterans department for help. The help does not stop there, the office helps those of the past who have fallen. They have helped get headstones for 3 veterans buried without one, and acts on behalf of veterans who have passed without families among other issues. While talking to Frank we discussed benefits that I was unaware of, one included low income pensions from the VA for eligible veterans. The biggest program Franks department offers is the veteran ID program. This ID allows veterans to receive a 10% discount at any business that displays the County of San Bernardino Veteran – Friendly Business sticker in their window.

Frank is not alone, he is like many veterans and continue to serve the community in many ways. A majority of non-profits that cater to veterans are controlled by veterans themselves. Veterans are trained and taught to leave “no one behind”. We are there for each other, and many veterans and their families continue to serve our veteran brothers, sisters, and community once they get out. At times it is just one veteran neighbor helping their veteran neighbor navigate the VA system. We help each other. To those veterans who are out there hidden in the background, please come forward and grace us with your wisdom and knowledge. With so many veterans in the United States struggling to survive we need all hands on deck. Check your local community to see if there are veteran programs available and get the word out about their existence.  

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

The Cost of Doing the Right Thing

Francisco is a Marine veteran client that I work with. He had two tours in Iraq and struggles to deal with what happened. Francisco was in-voluntary extended after his 4 years in the corps because he was supposed to be a part of the “surge”. His last tour he had a fellow marine from his unit die in his arms on his first tour and now he had to go on another one. Francisco lives with the feeling that his fellow Marine took his last breath while he was holding him. Francisco continues to feel that last breath leaves the Marine before he died. That incident effects his decisions to this day. One of the reasons he made the decision to do what he thought was right the rest of his time in the Marines, and that decision cost him.

What he was concerned about the most is his inability to not make lance corporal. He separated from the Marines as a corporal. This is very demeaning to him, especially the reason why he did not make rank. You see, Francisco made the mistake of standing up for an inferior marine why he was beaten by his Sargent. His Sargent was beating a fellow Marine in the next rack while he was trying to sleep. Francisco continually tried to stop the Sargent from beating the Marine. He was told to stay out of it. After the sergeant was done beating the Marine he proceeded to treat the marine by doing CPR. The Marine was beaten so bad he had stopped breathing. He then filed a complaint and the sergeant was reprimanded. After that incident Francisco was always having to look over his back. He was ostracized as being a trouble maker and a rat. He was treated with little respect by his peers in the corps. After he had decided to leave the Marine Corps he was offered a promotion, which he refused. After being treated the way he was for saving his fellow Marine he decided he would get out. He feels he is being looked down upon by fellow veteran Marines for doing the right thing.

Francisco continues to struggle by questioning his choice to do what he felt was right. He has seen many that have done questionable things and have gotten away with them, and even becoming better off than they were. He feels doing what was right has cost him many times in his life and he consistently asks me why he should keep doing what was right because it has not helped him, it has only hurt him. It is a difficult task to convince someone that doing the right thing is what is best even if it cost them. He tried to do what the Marines told him to do, he followed the written code to the letter, and the problem was he did not follow the unwritten code of not telling on others when he sees hazing of another Marine.

Another issue that Francisco deals with is what other Marines say about him behind his back. He has told several people this story since he got out and they have looked down upon him as if he was still in. What Francisco needs to learn is he owns his story that he does not have to tell everyone about his situation. Francisco is an honest person who feels bad about holding back anything from his time in the Marines. He has lived his life being the honest person, he feels like it has backfired. Unfortunately, his case is not the only one I've heard. It is difficult to make these decisions and he made it. Francisco did the right thing but paid the price of doing it.

From a clinical standpoint it is difficult for young man to deal with this type of burden. In his mind the choice he made will affect him for the rest of his life. Many men and women in the military are brave enough to stand up for what they feel is right. There are those that stand up for what they believe is right knowing there will be consequences to their actions. Some accept that responsibility and move forward. Others struggle with their decision and consistently wonder if they made the right one. Many things the Marine struggles with when he gets out in society often does not do the right thing. Even though all military branches are taught integrity loyalty commitment not all people follow that code. Doing what's right can often lead to struggles. Many civilians do not make ethical decisions and that bothers those who do. Those who do the right thing start to question whether they're doing the right thing by sticking to their morals. This type of stuff happens and some pay the consequences. My opinion is we should all stand up for what is right even though it costs us. If everyone used this code the military, civilians, and society would all be a better place.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Home Front Pilots were Trailblazers

Micky was among a large contingent of WWII test pilot for the Army Air Corps needed for various duties at home. They flew freshly completed and repaired aircraft from the factory giving them “shakedown flights” to ensure they were safe for pilots overseas fighting the war. They trained Air Corps cadets to fly, they also developed advanced attack tactics to be used in war because little was known about air power and how it could be effective on the battlefield. Each type and model of aircraft were different, their strengths and weaknesses needed to be exposed and these elite pilots completed that task. They also had one of the most dangerous jobs in the Army Air Corps, they flew aircraft towing targets for cadets and trainees to shoot live rounds at. The cadet pilots and trainee gunners had little to no experience flying their aircraft let alone shooting at a moving target. Less dangerous jobs included flying aircraft to locations throughout the United States for the lend/lease program for our allies to pick up during the war. These pilots were not militarized, they were not allowed to be a part of the militarized Air Corps. They were looked down upon by many higher ups and war pilots because they were civil service employees and not soldiers.

These pilots did not have a glamorous job, but were as important as those fighting the war. They were required to pay their own way to the bases they worked from, including their training sites. When they were killed they were not given the military burial. Their families were responsible for the cost of the burial if they died during their service and fellow pilots were known to take up a collection to have their bodies delivered to their families. Their coffins were not allowed to be draped with the American Flag, although some unofficially were done by family and friends. These pilots were an elite group of flyers that served their country with distinction. They did this duty because they wanted to fly and be a part of the success of the war effort.

Each of these pilots had a license. They were trained to be “Army Pilots”. Their training paralled the training of aviation cadets even though they were not trained for combat roles or to fly in formation. Even though they developed and tested attack angles and tactics, they did receive extensive instructions to maneuver the aircrafts and recover from just about any scenario. These pilots flew every aircraft imaginable even testing rocket propelled aircraft. The only difference between these pilots and other pilots was they were female. Micky was Mildred D. Tuttle-Axton, a female Civil Service pilot during WWII. During WWII over 25,000 women applied to be US pilots and only 1,830 were accepted with 1,074 continued on to be trained as Women’s Air force Service Pilots (WASP). Thirty eight female pilots lost their lives while doing their part for the war effort.

During WWII every American felt the pinch of the war. Everyone knew someone in the war. Every family felt the loss of a family member, friend or acquaintance. During WWII over 16.1 million men served in the armed forces. An estimated 276,000 females preformed non-combat roles with another 74,000 nurses. During the war there were food rations, gas rations, copper drives, steel drives and anything to help the war effort. During this time the industrial complex of the United States was at full capacity, everyone had a part to play including pilots at home. Where there were male test pilots, the women pilots freed men up to fly into battle.   

These women were not accepted during WWII. Women did not belong in the military unless they were nurses. Many men scoffed at women joining the Army or doing “men’s jobs”. It appeared our society was not ready for women to serve, but necessity prevailed and women finally became a part of the American WWII military war machine. Women have always joined the fight, many dressed as men during the US Civil war to serve their country, but to many men the military was no place for a woman. With the history of women being successful in the military it is hard to see why women in “battle” is such a controversial topic, they have always been there. Even with the backing of men such as General Eisenhower, Fleet Admiral Nimitz, and Air Corps General “Hap” Arnold backing the female WWII pilots our society still struggles with this to this day. Things are changing, a study in 2011 showed females represent 14% of the active duty force and 20% of new recruits. They also represent 5.5% of the veteran population.

It was not until November of 1977 that these female pilots were given veterans status. In May of 1979 the US Air Force issued its first honorable discharges for WASP pilots serving during WWII. The female Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Coast Guard, and Marines that serve today owe a great deal of admiration and respect of their foremothers. They were the original SHEROS that served our country with honor. As one WWII WASP stated, the aircraft does not notice the sex of the pilot, it notices good and bad pilots. I bet a rifle feels the same way, it knows a good shot from a bad one!

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

It’s Time for an Emotional Reset for Vietnam Veterans

While in the store yesterday wearing my Veteran’s hat I was approached by a gentleman and told “thanks for your service and fighting for our freedoms”. It’s always great to hear from those that thank me and it happens quite frequently. What happened about five minutes later caught me off guard. A gentleman named Larry walked up and said, I saw the guy thank you, man have times changed. Larry was right, times have changed. Larry went in the Army in 1974 and retired after 22 years. He had seen the ups and downs of the military. He told me stories about his time in and how they were treated when he first went in the military, it was not good. He did not serve in Vietnam but served with many who did and like me was upset by the way they were treated when they returned home.

The Vietnam veterans were spit on, called baby killers, murders, rapist, and other things that can’t be published upon their returned home. Larry had never seen Vietnam but was treated the same because he wore the uniform. The Vietnam era veterans have been treated with little respect over the years. It feels to me that times have changed and a thank you is long overdue.

The Vietnam Veterans are a great bunch of people who continue to be treated questionably by the system.  Most of the Vietnam veterans have spent their lives working and providing for their families with little or no fanfare. Some delved into their work to mask their problems and emotions. Others fought the system working with organizations like the Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW), Disabled American Veterans (DAV), American Legion, and American Veterans (AMVETS) and other veteran organizations. Vietnam veterans are at or getting to retirement age, as they retire they are starting to struggle. From what I have seen as they retire they have more time to look back and question what they had to do during war. It appears that Vietnam veterans are finally finding it acceptable to get mental health help and are seeking that help. It also appears they are coming out of the woodwork to get help because the post 9-11 veterans have made it ok for them to seek mental health treatment.

Vietnam Veterans are a major part of why today’s veterans are treated with respect like they are. After Desert Storm Vietnam veterans are the ones who made sure we were welcomed home. One Vietnam veteran told me when I returned from Desert Storm “there was no way you were going to be treated like us”. We were not going to let it happen! They are the ones that go to the airports and welcome home todays soldiers returning from deployment. They are the reason there is a diagnosis for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and made sure Gulf war syndrome was recognized by the Veterans Administration (VA) after they spent over 20 years fighting over Agent Orange. They are responsible for many of veteran’s benefits today. The Vietnam veterans fought for the recent veterans and the future of all veterans, as recent veterans it is our time to take care of and support them.

My challenge to all veterans is to purchase a veterans hat or shirt and wear it with pride so people can let you know that they appreciate your service to our country. You have earned it! All of those who took the oath are veterans and deserve the accolades, so this Veterans Day wear your veteran items with pride, and continue to wear it, you have earned the thank you. From a Desert Storm veteran to all veterans, thank you for your service. I challenge everyone to take time to thank those who have worn the uniform and fought for your freedoms when you see them.  It is time for an emotional reset for our Vietnam veterans. Show them times have changed and they are appreciated.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Dishonorable Discharge

I first met George about 9 months ago. He was in one of the first units sent into battle in Fallujah Iraq. He continues to carry those days with him. He had been a fast burner in the Army, making the rank of E-5 in 3 years. In war he saw and did things that no one should have to. Anyone who has been to war understands. While he was in theatre he did not believe the sleeping problems and the hyper-vigilance was an issue, he thought it was normal. He thought those horrific dreams would go away. What he didn’t know was those dreams and feelings would follow him home. 

George returned home to a hero’s welcome organized by Vietnam Veterans. When he returned he did not feel like a hero. He felt guilt and pain from the things he had to do and see.  He was happy to see his wife and 18 month old son, the happiness wouldn’t last. His inability to sleep caused him to start drinking more and more. He feared his wife would look at him differently if he told her about his pain and what he had to do on the battlefield, so he never talked to her about it. His temper got worse, scaring his wife. He feared getting help from mental health would end his career. What would his wife think? What would his comrades think? Was George crazy? What would his First Sergeant and Commander think?  Drinking is acceptable in Military culture, getting mental health is not. As his marriage declined he drank more and started spending time with his war buddies. It wasn’t long before he started missing formation and drills. His first sergeant talked to him, but it did no good, he was in an internal struggle with the guilt and pain of what he had to do in Fallujah.

As he continued to decline his wife left, it finally got to the point where alcohol was the only thing that made the pain go away. Everything came to a head with a DUI. His First Sergeant and Commander had seen enough, they gave him a dishonorable discharge. Now George has child support, no job, a drinking problem, nowhere to live, little prospect of a future, and no VA benefits because of his dishonorable discharge. He considered suicide on several occasions, but he could not go through with it.

Unfortunately this is not an abnormal case, this is really happening to veterans. It is impossible to go to war and come back the same person. In a lot of cases families and commanders are ill prepared to deal with mental health issues. To families it is a safety concern. To commanders it’s their job to do what is best for their troops, their unit, and the military. Once George was kicked out he became homeless, he burned his bridges due to his drinking, and he had nowhere to go.

George was fortunate to run into a Veteran that had contacts that could help him. I spent some time with him trying to get him to get help. Veterans are stubborn, asking for help is not on their radar, another veteran stands a better chance at getting a veteran help than civilians, veterans trust veterans. Many veterans do not know the military is taking another look at dishonorable discharges because of PTSD and self-medicating. George’s case is a good example of what can happen when a soldier does not get help. The military is re-looking at dishonorable discharges like Georges to possibly upgrade them so they can receive their earned benefits. Part of the problem is some veterans do not trust the system, why should they? The system put them where they are. I was able to help him apply for the upgrade. He contacted his brother for an address to use.

Help is there for these veterans if they know where to look. There is housing available for homeless veterans and agencies for mental health help if the veteran is willing to spend time and look. Depression can set in during these types of situations and the veteran needs help. Contacting the local American Legion, AMVETS, DAV, or VFW, is a good start for their upgrade, usually they have some answers.  If the veteran or the person helping them get help hits resistance keep trying. Some veterans look at dishonorable discharges as a disgrace, they do not know or believe this could have been them under different circumstances. Let’s give our wounded warriors the help they deserve.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.