Being Politically Correct is Hard for Home Veterans

I was at a veteran center the other day and a veteran was talking about “haji”.  I began to wonder if the veteran would be considered a racist if he had used the term outside the “safety” of the vet center. Since so many in our society don’t understand that during war we are programmed to use those terms to do our jobs, which undermines the morality we started with, before we went to war, I wanted to discuss this issue here. Every war has its slurs, during Vietnam, one of the terms was “gooks”, and is still used by Vietnam veterans to this day. It happens in every war, it is necessary to mentally survive. Society struggles to understand why veterans bring those terms home with them. The truth is, de-humanizing the enemy is the only way many Soldiers, Sailors, Airman, and Marines can convince themselves it’s acceptable to kill, even during war. Does using these terms make a veteran a racist? That is an interesting question and one that needs to be explored by individuals and society.    

The United States has become so politically correct that comedians can’t even do their shows. It’s understandable that people feel minimized by some of the terms used. But should those who fight in our name be labeled a racist because they did what they had to do to get home?  I can see where the terms are hard for some in society to hear, but the reality is, using these terms are what allowed our veterans to be able to survive their ordeal in a war situation. Should they quit using those derogatory terms for a race of people who tried to kill them? Maybe they should, or should the reason be understood and give them a pass? It’s easier to shoot a “gook” or “haji” than a person. De-humanizing the enemy is important to their survival in theatre.   

There’s no off switch when veterans return home, de-humanizing one’s enemy is the oldest trick in the book and has been used by all governments to create hostility toward the enemy throughout history. Since there are so few veterans in our society, some civilians believe it’s easy to not use these derogatory terms. Psychologically, if it was that easy to de-program yourself once you return home it would have been done. The military doesn’t provide any training on how to de-program veterans when they return to civilian life and that is a problem.

It is difficult to work through the political correctness when trying to integrate back into society. So often veterans struggle because they cannot meet society's requirements. Society has such stringent expectations, and rightly so, about what’s right and wrong to say concerning race, religion, and clothing. If a veteran uses one of these terms it can be labeled hate speech. Is this fair to veterans who have fought for free speech? Our government allowed, even encouraged, these terms to be used in theatre, but veterans can be vilified by society if they use these terms in the wrong place once they return home. There’s no de-humanization switch to turn off.

It is problematic for the military to send military members to war and program them to kill the enemy, then return them to society without taking responsibility for their part of the vet’s struggle to reintegrate.  I have heard multiple times where military veterans have been told their time in war has made them a menace to society. To me this is unconscionable. Civilians need to understand why veterans do what they do and what they had to do. It is not easy putting the genie back in the bottle. I am not suggesting that we give the veteran a pass to be a jerk. There is a price to be paid when we go to war and veterans should not be the only sector of our population who pays.

Should society give these veterans a pass when using racial slurs against someone who looks like their enemy? This is a question we must ask ourselves. For some veterans, the military has made it difficult to be successful in society because of the lack of any de-programing program. Should we blame the veteran or should we put the blame where it belongs, on the military for not de-programming the veterans who are struggling when returning to society. So, the question is, are veteran’s racist for using certain terms they have been programmed by our government to use to survive? That question is up to each individual and society.   

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Suicide: Not Just for Veterans Anymore

I was approached by one of my students who had received some bad, her friend Emma had committed suicide the day of class. My student, Jan was in the US Army and had become close to Emma because she used to keep her kids while Jan was working. Jan had just talked to Emma 2 days prior and said there was no indication of her thinking about committing suicide. Jan was aware that Emma’s husband Michael had developed PTSD after 2 combat tours, that created an added pressure on their relationship but Jan thought it would blow over. Jan acknowledged that Emma had helped her raise her kids and was like a second mother to them and she worried how Emma’s death would affect her children. Like most military families separated from their biological family Emma was a part of Jan’s military family. Jan had heard about the suicide from another friend through their extensive network. Jan kept trying to call Michael to find what was going on. After multiple calls and panicked messages Michael finally picked the phone up and talked to her. Michael had come home with their 7-year-old daughter and found Emma hanging in the hallway. Jan was concerned about Emma and Michael’s 7-year-old daughter, she was also concerned about what she was going to tell her own children who knew Emma well. We discussed how she could have a conversation about Emma’s death with her own children. Unfortunately, Jan and Emma’s situation is not abnormal. Many military and veteran’s spouses commit suicide because of having to live with the effects of PTSD on their family.    

After multiple deployments, spouses living with someone having PTSD must hold the family together. Studies have shown spouses of active duty and military veterans have a higher rate of suicidal thoughts than their civilian counterparts, especially those who are caregivers and support of the wounded veteran. This is not the first generation of military families to deal with deployments, however, there is no precedence for studying multiple deployments and its effects on families. With the military and Veterans Administration’s (VA) limitations on helping spouses, there’s little help for family members dealing with a loved one having PTSD. The clinicians who work for the military and VA are up to their necks dealing with the active duty and veterans themselves, they must place their emphasis on those in uniform or veterans. They have little if no time for spouses.

There are a lot of military families who do not know anything but wartime, so living in wartime is their normal. It’s not just the spouses of active duty or veterans who suffer from the effects of PTSD, their children struggle also. Recent research has also shown that military connected adolescents also have a higher rate of suicidal thoughts than the civilian counterparts. Being an adolescent is tough, but it is even tougher on those living with someone who has PTSD.  

There are subtle differences between active duty, spouses, and family members living with PTSD. One of the biggest differences is active duty family members fear seeking help, for fear it will hurt their spouse’s careers. Spouses struggle with the stigma associated with mental health just like their veteran loved one. In military and veteran culture seeking mental health help is a sign of weakness so they do not ask any help. Also, families who are still active duty continually struggle with deployments and continually wait for the next time their spouse or parent will deploy to a warzone again.

When our society discuss suicide in our veteran community, we don’t discuss the effects of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) on someone who is married to PTSD like Emma was. Our society is so focused on the 1 active duty and 20 Veteran who commit suicide every day. We don’t pay attention to the spouses and family members who commit suicide because of the issues brought on by living with someone who has PTSD. There must be something done about the family members suicides. The spouses and family members who are thinking about or have committed suicide deserve to be looked at as a cost of war, just like their military / veteran spouses. So often the spouses and family members turn to the government for help with little to no success. They are forced to turn to clinicians in the private sector because of the lack of help by the government who caused their problem. But so often family members believe these clinicians are ill-prepared to hear or understand what is happening in their military and veteran families. There are civilian military veterans and family members who are clinicians, just look for them. Also, many civilian clinicians understand and treat PTSD families daily, give them a chance to help you.

Presently there is no indication that the Department of Defense (DOD) or the VA is tracking the number of military family members who commit suicide. There is also no indication the DOD or VA will start serving family members. That leaves us to look after each other. Also, it is important for family members who are struggling to seek help from the civilian’s if they need help, you can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge. September is suicide awareness month. Remember don’t be scared to ask a loved one or a friend if they are thinking about suicide. You might just save their life! 

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Veterans Need to Utilize Their Best Weapons

I was talking to an officer of a local Veteran Service Organization (VSO) about how the Veterans Administration (VA) operates when it comes to input from veteran’s family members for medical needs. I have been told by several sources that spouses are not allowed into the room with the veteran to see doctors at the VA. The VSO representative informed me that he has not had that problem, his wife attends all his appointments when she comes to the VA with him. Apparently, there are different rules depending on the situation and doctor. I recently was told by a friend that she could not go into the room with her father who suffered from Agent Orange in Vietnam. When her father was called, she got up to go to with him. She was told she couldn’t come in with him. Her father plainly stated, if she doesn’t come neither do I. She was only allowed into his appointment because he insisted. In many cases, it appears spouses and family members can go to appointments at the VA if the veteran insists. It seems the issue is with the veteran not wanting their family member to go into the appointment with them. Veterans often fear being vulnerable in front of their family members, especially when it comes to mental health issues.  

I agree that family members do not need to go with the veteran to their mental health therapy sessions. Veterans might not speak freely with a family member attending. Dealing with mental health issues can be scary for everyone, especially veterans who have the “suck it up and deal with it” attitude. Feeling they are weak is a major concern for many veterans when working through their mental health demons. Many veterans feel shame or guilt about what they had to do while in the combat zone, therapy sessions are not a place for family members.

However, when it comes to seeing the psychiatrist that is a different story. Most psychiatrists do not do talk therapy and only deal with mental health medication. It can be important to have someone who lives with the veteran in the room to help answer questions about the side effects of the medications has on the veteran. Those who live with the veteran see subtle problems many veterans might miss. Family members, especially spouses look at the veteran with a different eye than veterans look at themselves. Often these spouses see the veteran as they navigate their day, family members can notice subtle changes that might be important when dealing with psychotropic medication. By allowing the spouse or family member to talk to the psychiatrist with them it can help the doctor get the whole picture and make the appropriate adjustments to their medication. With medical doctor’s, family members can get information to help the veteran stay on track and do as the doctor orders. Often it comes down to veterans not wanting to be “nagged” because they want to do what they want and not have to follow doctors’ orders. By letting family members come in, it means the veterans must be vulnerable and trust their family members, a tall order for some veterans.

These family members have stuck with their veteran, many have earned the right to hear the story.  Veterans must work through their time in combat. At times the shame, guilt, and breaking of their moral code to survive weighs heavy on them. When veteran’s family members understand the situation, they can help the veteran get their life back. This can allow the veteran to live the happy life they deserve and earned. Leaving the baggage of military service behind can be a struggle for some. For most it can be done with therapy and support of their spouse or family.    

If veterans will let them, families can be a veteran’s biggest allies. Veterans often struggle to break out their most important weapon in their arsenal, their spouse or family members. There is nothing fiercer than a pissed off spouse, mother, father, brother, sister, or grandchild because they feel their loved one is being treated unfairly. Veterans should weaponize their spouses and family members, give them the power of trust, and let them speak up when they feel the need. But to weaponize family member’s veterans must let them into their lives completely, this includes seeing the doctor with them for medical and medication issues even if the VA says no and tries to keep them out. Veterans family members live with them, it is only right we let them into our lives and utilize their weaponry, their insight and knowledge, to help everyone live a happier life they have earned and deserve.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Veterans and Their Families Have Mental Health Options

As a clinician I hear allot of stories that bring light to the severity of the mental health situation plaguing our veterans and their families. Mary is married to Doug, an Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) / Operation Enduring Freedom (OEF) veteran. Doug served three combat tours, those tours have affected their relationship in some concerning ways. Mary and Doug have been married for 17 years and have 2 children, 16 and 14 years old. Doug was an Air Force Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO) commanding convoys while in the Iraqi theatre. He is now medically retired after 18 years of service due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Doug was trying to hold out for his 20 years to receive full retirement, but he could not contain and maintain his control of his PTSD for 2 more years, especially with another deployment looming. 

Mary, like many spouses are struggling to understand why Doug is so distant and will not open up to her like he used to. Many veterans don’t feel comfortable discussing their stories with their families and friends for fear of them not understanding. Veterans stories usually make them too vulnerable to tell anyone who has not been there. It is normal for spouses and families to struggle understanding what is going on with their loved ones. As Mary explained their problems I realized this is an ongoing theme in many veteran’s families. She feels the first two tours changed Doug, but the last tour changed his whole demeanor, she knows something happened, but not the specifics. Mary is struggling because he is not the same thoughtful, caring man and father she married seventeen years ago.

Doug commanded convoys moving supplies from the main base to Forward Operating Bases (FOB’s) in Iraq. During a convoy to a FOB they were hit by an Improvised Explosive Device (IED) and subsequently started taking small arms fire. In an instant Doug’s life changed forever, he lost one troop with two more injured. He received some minor injuries himself, but as all good NCO’s his concern was his troops. As he assessed the damage after the firefight he saw the carnage and the destruction of his troops and their equipment. He was in command of that convoy and bears the burden and guilt of those casualties. 

He struggles daily dealing with the guilt for not seeing the attack coming that killed and injured his troops. The realization that these troops were not much older than his own children continues to follow him. He continues to deal with survivor’s guilt and feels the need to contact his injured troops and the family of his lost troop, but he’s not ready to take that step, the guilt is too much for him. It was his job to protect his troops and he failed in his eyes. As time went on and he returned home to his family he tried to contain his symptoms from them and the Air Force. He started to drink heavily until Mary forced him to seek help. After getting help one of his greatest fears was realized, he was diagnosed with PTSD and medically discharged. He had lost his identity and was no longer a career Air Force NCO, he was Doug, a disabled veteran with no job to support his family. He has been unemployed since he received his medical retirement, making him feel useless. Doug went to the Veterans Administration (VA) for help and was placed on a waitlist, but eventually got into a group. After 12 group sessions and a few individual sessions he was told he had completed his treatment. He felt more was needed than he had gotten, but he didn’t push for more, the perception of the red tape and the feeling of discontent prevented him from seeking more help.

One of the common themes among many veterans is the distrust of the VA system. Who can blame them with the recent information about services? Many have trouble navigating the system because of their disabilities. This causes them to feel overwhelmed so they give up. Mary spent time exploring her options. As she looked around she saw other’s that were making moves to help veterans. Since the VA and Vet Centers offer limited services to families Mary found there was help outside the VA system.

Mary and Doug are now using one of these outside resources for help. They are still struggling but making progress. These outside resources understand the family is an integral part of the wellbeing of their veteran. They also understand that the families served and still serve their country by being married to Soldiers, Airman, Seamen, and Marine veterans. It is important that the military brats also get their due. They served by having their parents deployed for extended amount of time and missing a host of important events in their lives. These families still serve while dealing with the aftermath of war. These outside resources serve the whole family, not just the members. Many state and local communities offer services and support for veterans and their families. It is important that veterans and family members locate these services and utilize them.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

The Art of Self-Medicating

Brenda is an Iraqi freedom veteran who is 100% full and permanent disabled due to injuries suffered while in the Iraqi theatre of operations during the surge. Brenda suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as well as physical issues brought on by the Improvised Explosive Device (IED) that blew up her convoy. Like so many veterans, Brenda has a duel diagnosis. A duel diagnosis is when the veteran has a diagnosable mental health issue and a substance use disorder. One of the biggest issues mental health professionals who work with veterans, deal with is dual diagnosis. So often therapists must figure out if the symptoms are a mental health issue, or a substance abuse issue. To the untrained eye they can look similar, some having the same symptoms. Like many other veterans with physical and mental disabilities, Brenda uses marijuana and alcohol when it comes to trying to control her PTSD symptoms. She also uses the opioids given to her by the Veterans Administration (VA) for the pain. The problem is the cocktail of alcohol, marijuana, and opioids can lead to other issues, such as dependence or even death under the wrong circumstances.  

So many veterans turn to marijuana or alcohol to work through their issues concerning PTSD. Many veterans do not like to take the psychotropic medication given them by the VA because they don’t like the way it makes them feel, so they turn to alcohol or illicit drugs such as methamphetamines, cocaine, and various other narcotics. Veterans often choose alcohol because it is acceptable in the veteran/military culture. With the veteran culture, it is easy to hide the self-medicating because drinking is the “norm”. No one says anything about getting a beer or an alcoholic drink, it is the culture. With the recent legalization of marijuana in many states, marijuana is now becoming accepted just like alcohol. Many times, it is hard to tell if a person is self-medicating. Noticing the problem of drug and alcohol use can be difficult. Family and friends want to believe the user when they say there’s not a problem. Those who suffer from dependence of drugs and alcohol are good at hiding it. After a while it appears to become a game and seen as an art form by some, with the elaborate excuses and denials the user comes up with. When alcohol and marijuana doesn’t do the trick, and prescription drugs are unavailable veterans turn to the use of illicit drugs.    

For the most part, illicit drugs are not an acceptable way to self-medicate while on Active Duty, in the Guard or Reserves. Often service members use alcohol because using illicit drugs to self-medicate can get a service member a dishonorable or other than honorable discharge that can go with them the rest of their lives. It is at a last resort that a military member uses illicit drugs while in the military. What they do is turn to prescription drugs when they can get them. The military has a history of giving out prescription drugs to keep soldiers available to deploy.      

The misuse of prescription drugs within the military and veteran communities is rampant. So many veterans with PTSD, anxiety, and depression turn to the use of whatever they can get to deal with their issues. The option is often prescription medication such as opioids. With roughly a third of the Army on prescription medications, branches of the military are starting to try and curb the use of prescription medications and limit their availability. For some it is too late and they move on to the VA to continue the cycle. A multitude of veterans don’t trust the VA, so they use what they can, alcohol and other illicit drugs.     

The mistrust of the VA and the system is warranted in some cases. I have talked to several veterans that refuse to utilize the VA because they are worried they will lose their benefits because they use marijuana for their PTSD. Concerning marijuana, the VA feels minimal clinical research testing has been done on any combination of illicit drugs, especially marijuana. According to the VA controlled studies have not been conducted to evaluate the safety or effectiveness of medical marijuana for PTSD. The VA feels there’s no evidence that marijuana is an effective treatment for PTSD. It is easy to see how Brenda has gotten caught up in the self-medicating quagmire, for her the use of marijuana helps with her PTSD, and trying to convince her that it’s not, is futile.

For many veterans, the self-medicating is real. The VA needs to step up and accept that. If they want veterans to stop self-medicating they need to accept the fact that it’s happening and do something about it. Veterans are doing the best they can when dealing with their physical and mental issues, and using illicit drugs and alcohol is what they are doing. The VA needs to stop preaching and start treating veterans who self-medicate.  I know the VA is trying to get a marijuana trial off the ground, but that is a conversation for another day.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

A Salute to Vietnam Veterans

Rusty was a Marine in Vietnam. I worked for his brother while I was in the Air Force. He was born and raised in Texas but decided to live in an area where there were less people. He was a strong man that never would ask for help, but you could tell there was something not quite right about his demeanor. He was a good man but grumpy most of the time. He never had children and had been married several times. He owned his own business so he could stay away from people and crowds. No one fully understood him except his brother, Sammy. Sammy was also a Vietnam veteran, Sammy’s job was an aircraft mechanic at Ton Son Nhut Air Base Vietnam, and was occasionally sent out to the jungle to retrieve parts and remains from downed aircraft. There were times Sammy had to remove pilots he knew.  

Rusty’s job was to re-supply troops on the front line and other forward operating units. These missions were usually done in a convoy, but that didn't make it any easier. These convoys were under consistent fire from the Vietcong day in and day out as they drove back and forth from their supply missions. It was a stressful job, during one of these missions Rusty was the lead truck. While Rusty was the lead truck, a woman stepped out into the road and tried to get Rusty to stop. His orders were to stop for no one. Rusty had to run over that woman standing in the road. What people struggle to understand, often there would be a sniper in the bushes ready to shoot the driver and take the supplies. When Rusty returned to the United States, like most Vietnam veterans, he was not met with open arms.

Many Vietnam veterans struggle with the way they were treated when they returned home. I know when I returned from Desert Storm the Vietnam veterans made sure we were treated well upon our homecoming. There are still Vietnam veterans today that struggle with the way they were treated by society when they returned and how the new veterans are being treated by society. I had one Vietnam veteran make the statement that “when we returned home we were spit on and threatened, now everyone of today's veterans are considered a hero and treated with respect”. I have talked to several people, both civilian and veterans, who feel today's veterans are treated well out of guilt for the way Vietnam veterans were treated when they came home. Many older veterans feel they have been overlooked. The reality is they have. It pains me to see Vietnam veterans struggle because they can't get the medical care, benefits, pay, and college that the newer generation veterans are receiving because of the work put in by the Vietnam era veterans.

The question is, how does society help the Vietnam veterans get what they have earned? Vietnam veterans have been used as a baseline to establish the criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I have heard that some Vietnam veterans have not been diagnosis for PTSD because it did not exist when they completed their service. The Veterans Administration (VA) will be struggling for a very long time dealing with our Vietnam veterans as they get older. As the Vietnam veterans get older some of the hidden issues they've buried for 40+ years are going to surface. The VA has been, and still is ill-prepared for the number of combat veterans in the United States. It is possible that it will be years before the VA can catch up to the need, if ever. Many of these brave men and women have not received the benefits they deserve from the VA; the question is who is going to help them if the VA is not able to?

There are places in the civilian sector where veterans can go for help. It is my suggestion that veterans who are struggling get the help, not give up and contact their local Veterans Service Organization to get the help they have earned. If it wasn't for veterans, the United States might not have the rights and freedoms we so cherish in our country. To all veterans I would like to say, thank you. To the Vietnam veterans I would like to say that I respect you more than you can ever know. You have earned that respect and always will have my respect because of the way you carried yourself after being treated badly upon your return. You are my brothers and sisters. Rusty and Sammy are both gone now, but they are a big reason I have chosen to do what I am doing, trying to help veterans and their families get the respect and benefits they deserve and have earned.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

How to Create a Better VA Experience

Gilbert is an Iraqi veteran with two combat tours who refused to utilize the Veterans Administration (VA) for benefits. I often spend a lot of time trying to get veterans to utilize the benefits they earned. When I mentioned the VA to Gilbert he started grumbling. He felt it was a waste of time. Every trip to the VA Gilbert ended up spending the entire day there and often didn’t get what he needed. Gilbert is not alone; a lot of veterans become wary when you mention the VA and for good reason. What veterans think when the VA is mentioned consist of negative media coverage and complaints from other veterans. Many go into the VA with unrealistic expectations for the huge bureaucracy.     

As Gilbert continued to complain about the VA he told me his wife was getting tired of his complaining and told him to do something or stop complaining. I asked Gilbert if he has a driver’s license? He said yes, then I asked if he had to go to DMV to get his license, he again said yes. I questioned Gilbert about what he didn’t like about going to DMV. He discussed waiting in line, the rudeness of the people, and the paperwork. I asked Gilbert why he put up with DMV? he said “I want to drive!” I then asked, do the complaints sound familiar?  I could see him starting to think.   

With the VA, we feel we are owed services. Veterans have earned these services and feel abandoned and betrayed by the system if they don’t get their needs met. Veterans don’t like feeling abandoned or betrayed so they stop going to the VA. To most veterans, the whole VA experience is frustrating and can be overwhelming. With DMV, we are taught driving is a privilege and not a right. We are not owed a driver’s license; we did not earn it from our service. We have different expectations for the VA than DMV and the difference in expectations can cost veterans thousands of dollars.     

Many veterans walk into the VA in a negative mood. By walking in with a negative mood you are increasing your chances of having a negative experience. Your experiences at the VA depend on your mood when you get in your car to go. If you get an attendant who is having a bad day you are likely to have a negative experience. Many of those that work at the VA spend all day dealing with people who feel bad and have poor attitudes. If a person at the counter has been dealing with negative people all day it is psychologly difficult for them to be in a good mood when they see you. I understand it is their job to be positive, but there are times it is difficult no matter who you are.

I am not making excuses for the VA. I am discussing the reality of the situation. Make your life easier by managing your expectations and your mood. Gilbert went back and stuck it out. He now gets an extra $651.00 because he fought for what he earned. Managing his mood and expectations psychologically helped him work through the VA system. Working through the system can be difficult but the VA controls your benefits. You can help yourself by having a positive attitude when you go to the VA. The VA controls your medical care, benefits, and disabilities claims. Why walk away from them and leave money you have earned on the table? Why are you struggling financially if you don’t have to?  I will offer some suggestions about creating a better experience at the VA.

How to manage your mood and expectations when dealing with the VA

1. Be pleasant to the person when you walk up to the counter, crack a joke, be sarcastic. It might put them in a better mood…. giving you a better experience. At times just a smile works!

2. If you can get an appointment get one. This helps a lot but not always. If possible I always take the day off and schedule all of my appointments on the same day if I can.

3. Mentally prepare yourself to be at the VA all day. Take a book, iPad, laptop, crossword, or Kindle, be prepared, if you are done sooner than expected all the better.

4. Have the correct paperwork. Do your research and make sure you have what you need with you. They are only doing their jobs, most employees do not like the bureaucracy either.

5. Understand that the claims department does not necessarily talk to the medical department. What’s on your disability claim might not show up in your VA medical records. When dealing with your primary care physician make sure you have your disability information with you from ebenefits.

6. Do what they ask. They can only control what is in their area of expertise and can give you wrong information when pressed for an answer.

7. Don’t ask them to do things that are above their pay grade or control. You cannot expect any employee to do something that will get them a reprimand or cost them their jobs.

8. Be empathetic, many VA employees have been dealing with people who do not feel good all day.

9. Be understanding. I have talked to several employees at the VA and they are scared to point out obvious problems. Like the military, the employee can be labeled a troublemaker.

10. Asking questions is OK. Find the right person to ask, not everyone in the VA has the answers. In the military we are taught to not question authority. You are not in the military anymore.

11. Be ready to accept the stock answer to a question, “it depends on the situation” it’s their go to answer when they don’t want to or can’t answer your question.

Want to learn more VA Tips? CLICK HERE to get your FREE access.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Women are in Combat

At a veteran’s event I was talking to a Lara a female employee of the Veterans Administration (VA). We spent a lot of time talking about issues within the system. She had served 10 years in the Army before she was medically retired due to her Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Like most people I assumed her PTSD was from a sexual assault. I was wrong, she had combat PTSD. She explained that my assumption was a major reason many female veterans will not reach out or file a claim for PTSD. I assumed that any female who has PTSD must have gotten it from sexual assault not combat.

I have said in the past that I have yet to meet a female veteran who had not at a minimum been sexually harassed. She continued to educate me and said I was the third person that she had heard that from but she had not been sexually harassed or assaulted during her time in the Army. We continued to talk and she told me that most people still struggle to believe that female veterans served in combat let alone having PTSD from a combat experience. She discussed a female veteran who could get a 100% disability rating if she included her PTSD. She refused to ask for a rating for PTSD because it would be assumed her PTSD was from a sexual assault not combat. She feared what others would think so she refused to ask for the rating because of the shame associated with sexual assault. She did not want to be seen as a victim.  

Lara continued educating me on her experiences and discussed how she had been struggling for quite a while because there are no groups for female veterans with combat PTSD. She tried to go to a combat PTSD group and an older veterans asked what was she doing there, women can’t have combat PTSD, women don’t serve in combat! That is a huge misnomer. There has been over 800 women wounded and 130 who gave the ultimate sacrifice since the wars started in 2001.

Recently women have been ok’d for combat by the military, even some have made it through Army Ranger school. Female veterans see combat whether we like to admit it or not. In the past women were not trained for combat but they continued to take on rolls that place them in the line of fire during support missions. Women have been in convoys since day one of Desert Storm. On today’s battlefield women receive and return fire. One of the most effective ways for our enemy to do damage to our psyche is road side bombs or Improvised Explosive Devices (IED). These tactics focus on convoys, and females are a part of them, leaving them susceptible to combat just like their male counterparts.

Female veterans need and deserve the same treatment males get for their psychological issues. According to my source, female veterans do not like to attend combat groups because most of them are full of older veterans who have not seen or believe women should be in combat. These females have earned and deserve their own groups for PTSD. The numbers of female veterans speak for themselves. They were 1.9% of casualties and 2.4% of all deaths. More than 280,000 women have served in OIF/OEF and they now make up to 20% of new recruits. Females are 14.5% of the 1.4 million in the military and 18% of the 850,000 reservist. Many of these women have been directly exposed to combat and have earned the benefits.

The center for women veterans was established by congress in November 1994. There has been little done for women veterans until recently when they started to fight for their rights. I have had several conversations with the Women Veterans Program Coordinator at a local VA hospital about women’s issues. She is working hard to make the Women’s Clinic a safe place for female veterans to go. I have sent several of my female clients to the women’s clinic and they have been happy with the care and services they have received.

Our women veterans deserve to be treated just like male veterans and have the same benefits from the VA. If you are a female veteran or know one, please visit or support the women’s clinic at the VA if they have one. The Women’s Healthcare System offers a variety of health services to address the unique needs of female veterans. Female veterans have earned the right to the same benefits male counterparts receive, take advantage of them. The more female veterans utilize their clinic the funding will increase. Don’t be scared to get what you have earned. Don’t let other’s assumptions stop you from getting what you deserve.

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For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.