Veterans Are Different in the Workplace

I had Kevin in my office last week and he was worried about being fired from his job. Kevin had two deployments to Iraq and understood the importance of doing things right and taking responsibility. Kevin explained how he missed something that could cost him his job and the company a lot of money. Kevin took responsibility and made no excuses just like a good soldier. He was doing what many veterans do, take responsibility for your mistakes. He was frustrated that others with more experience and knowledge missed it too, but their head was not on the chopping block. The difference, Kevin took responsibility for missing it, the other two threw him under the bus making him the fall guy even though they were just as, or more responsible than Kevin. This is not the first time I have heard of this happening, especially with the troops who just separated and have not adjusted. Things are just different in the “real world” than the military, out here people fends for themselves and don’t care what happens to others.  So often civilians don’t take responsibility for their actions and let others take the fall for their mistakes.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are military members and veterans who are quick to throw people under the buss to save their butts, been there seen that… multiple times. The difference is, in the military those who save their butts at the expense of others are not trusted and shunned in their military unit. Their lack of loyalty follows them throughout their military service.  I also know there are civilians who have integrity and take responsibility for their mistakes, and they deserve to be trusted. Where military veterans fail is expecting civilians to have the same values as their military family. Veterans need to manage their expectations when it comes to civilian co-workers or civilians in general. Veterans want civilians to think and respond to situations like them, the problem is they can’t. Most civilians have not had to protect each other at all cost like military veterans have. What most civilians have been taught is self-preservation at all costs.

In Kevin’s case his co-workers attitude was, Kevin took the blame, why should I get in trouble too? Kevin’s co-workers rationalize their actions to make themselves feel better believing they had no responsibility in catching the issue even though they had more experience and knowledge. If Kevin’s co-workers took responsibility Kevin might be given the benefit of doubt and be able to keep his job. Instead the others involved will get off scot-free. Many veterans tend to take responsibility for their actions, its not the way the civilian world works, it’s an “I’m in it for myself” mentality. There are some in the civilian community that have the same loyalty and integrity as veterans do, and they deserve to be trusted. It is important that veterans know who they can trust and adapt to in their environment and not expect others to change. Just learn who you can and can’t trust.  

Veterans should not give up their integrity, they need to be aware of each situation and respond accordingly. That blind loyalty they had to their military family is hard to find among civilians and often does not work in the civilian environment. There are a lot of differences between civilians and veteran’s in society, the lack of integrity is a major problem for military veterans once they embark on a new phase of life. In Kevin’s situation, he stood up and took responsibility for his mistakes believing his co-workers would follow suit, they didn’t, now he’s holding the bag and possibly losing his job because he had integrity. What Kevin is learning the hard way is integrity is not valued as a civilian, being honest is a flaw and viewed as a weakness to be exploited by those with less character. We need to ask ourselves, what is this teaching society and our children. The days of my mentor saying to me “at the end of the day, all a man has is his word” are gone. I challenge veterans to hold on to their integrity and be careful who you fall on your sword for. Not everyone deserves it.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Reintegration Can Be Harder Than Serving

One of the biggest things veterans deal with is re-integration when they get out, military and civilian culture are very different. While serving, active duty members have a lot of rules that don’t exist in the civilian world. Weather someone serves 4 or 30 years, many veterans look forward to getting out until they do, then they remember why we went in. Depending on rank, time in service, or disability it can be harder for some veterans than others to re-integrate back to civilian status. Jason is one of those veterans who has been struggling to re-integrate and become a civilian again.

Jason went in the Army when he was 18 years old and served in Afghanistan at a Forward Operating Bases (FOB). At the FOB Jason would spend a month at a time having to be hypervigilant and taking fire from the enemy. Jason was used to the adrenaline while at the FOB and struggles to get the adrenaline fix he needed when he got out.

While in the military troops are used to being told what to do, in the civilian sector their expected to know what to do by so many employers. Once Jason got out of the Army he struggled to find a job and a purpose. He struggles to answer one on one questions during individual interviews and don’t stand out during group interviews. In the military it is looked down on by superiors to “blow your own horn” which is what is expected from civilians during both individual and group job interviews.      

In the military younger troops like Jason are told what to do, and in the civilian sector they are expected to tell the interviewers what they would do in certain situations. This is where a veteran can struggle. Many younger veterans are not used to making business decisions and it can show at job interviews, especially if the interviewer has no understanding of the military. Younger veterans are used to being told to shut up and color, and not stand out. They struggle to show their personality during a civilian job interview, often limiting their success because of their military service. Even if the veteran is successful at finding a job, they can struggle because they do not know where the line is and what they can and can’t do when placed in questionable situations.     

In the military, you know your place and where the line is, you have been told or it’s in the regulations. As a civilian, the line can move depending on the situation and who you are. This is not only a problem for the younger troops, it’s a problem for the older veterans too when they get out. So often in the civilian sector the only guidelines you have is the job description, state, and federal regulations, which can be vague at best. In the military, you know what the rules are, and you can find them in the regulations when needed. In the civilian world the rules change depending on who you are, most employees know who the bosses favorite is and must adjust, often nepotism plays a part when it comes to different rules for different people. This can lead to veterans questioning who they can trust, who they can count on, and who’s got their back.

The one thing veterans know, when it comes down to it, people in their unit or others in the military have their back. Even if you have had issues with someone in your unit, when there is a life or death situation they will be there. That is a comforting feeling for anyone, but in the civilian world veterans don’t know who they can or can’t trust and who has their back.

I have seen some military veterans struggle for years, and Jason is no different. Jason has been out of the military for 10 years and has held multiple unfulfilling jobs. He has decided to come to college and try to get a degree to help him get a better job. Jason struggles because he felt successful while in the Army and feels like a failure since he has gotten out. He has had to take menial just jobs to get by. Many veterans feel they had a purpose while in the military, but lost their purpose when they got out. Some veterans struggle during job interviews limiting their ability to get good jobs, they don’t know where the line is, and don’t know who they can trust. Some veterans feel they should have stayed in the military because they did not struggle. It is saddening that a veteran feels they need to go back into a profession where they risk their life to have a purpose.  It is unfortunate that society struggles to utilize veteran’s strengths and give them the purpose they need to be successful as a civilian.  

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Veterans Are Different in the Workplace

I had Kevin in my office last week and he was worried about being fired from his job. Kevin had two deployments to Iraq and understood the importance of doing things right and taking responsibility. Kevin explained how he missed something that could cost him his job and the company a lot of money. Kevin took responsibility and made no excuses just like a good soldier. He was doing what many veterans do, take responsibility for your mistakes. He was frustrated that others with more experience and knowledge missed it too, but their head was not on the chopping block. The difference, Kevin took responsibility for missing it, the other two threw him under the bus making him the fall guy even though they were just as, or more responsible than Kevin. This is not the first time I have heard of this happening, especially with the troops who just separated and have not adjusted. Things are just different in the “real world” than the military, out here people fends for themselves and don’t care what happens to others.  So often civilians don’t take responsibility for their actions and let others take the fall for their mistakes.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are military members and veterans who are quick to throw people under the buss to save their butts, been there seen that… multiple times. The difference is, in the military those who save their butts at the expense of others are not trusted and shunned in their military unit. Their lack of loyalty follows them throughout their military service.  I also know there are civilians who have integrity and take responsibility for their mistakes, and they deserve to be trusted. Where military veterans fail is expecting civilians to have the same values as their military family. Veterans need to manage their expectations when it comes to civilian co-workers or civilians in general. Veterans want civilians to think and respond to situations like them, the problem is they can’t. Most civilians have not had to protect each other at all cost like military veterans have. What most civilians have been taught is self-preservation at all costs.

In Kevin’s case his co-workers attitude was, Kevin took the blame, why should I get in trouble too? Kevin’s co-workers rationalize their actions to make themselves feel better believing they had no responsibility in catching the issue even though they had more experience and knowledge. If Kevin’s co-workers took responsibility Kevin might be given the benefit of doubt and be able to keep his job. Instead the others involved will get off scot-free. Many veterans tend to take responsibility for their actions, its not the way the civilian world works, it’s an “I’m in it for myself” mentality. There are some in the civilian community that have the same loyalty and integrity as veterans do, and they deserve to be trusted. It is important that veterans know who they can trust and adapt to in their environment and not expect others to change. Just learn who you can and can’t trust.  

Veterans should not give up their integrity, they need to be aware of each situation and respond accordingly. That blind loyalty they had to their military family is hard to find among civilians and often does not work in the civilian environment. There are a lot of differences between civilians and veteran’s in society, the lack of integrity is a major problem for military veterans once they embark on a new phase of life. In Kevin’s situation, he stood up and took responsibility for his mistakes believing his co-workers would follow suit, they didn’t, now he’s holding the bag and possibly losing his job because he had integrity. What Kevin is learning the hard way is integrity is not valued as a civilian, being honest is a flaw and viewed as a weakness to be exploited by those with less character. We need to ask ourselves, what is this teaching society and our children. The days of my mentor saying to me “at the end of the day, all a man has is his word” are gone. I challenge veterans to hold on to their integrity and be careful who you fall on your sword for. Not everyone deserves it.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Reintegration Can Be Harder Than Serving

One of the biggest things veterans deal with is re-integration when they get out, military and civilian culture are very different. While serving, active duty members have a lot of rules that don’t exist in the civilian world. Weather someone serves 4 or 30 years, many veterans look forward to getting out until they do, then they remember why we went in. Depending on rank, time in service, or disability it can be harder for some veterans than others to re-integrate back to civilian status. Jason is one of those veterans who has been struggling to re-integrate and become a civilian again.

Jason went in the Army when he was 18 years old and served in Afghanistan at a Forward Operating Bases (FOB). At the FOB Jason would spend a month at a time having to be hypervigilant and taking fire from the enemy. Jason was used to the adrenaline while at the FOB and struggles to get the adrenaline fix he needed when he got out.

While in the military troops are used to being told what to do, in the civilian sector their expected to know what to do by so many employers. Once Jason got out of the Army he struggled to find a job and a purpose. He struggles to answer one on one questions during individual interviews and don’t stand out during group interviews. In the military it is looked down on by superiors to “blow your own horn” which is what is expected from civilians during both individual and group job interviews.      

In the military younger troops like Jason are told what to do, and in the civilian sector they are expected to tell the interviewers what they would do in certain situations. This is where a veteran can struggle. Many younger veterans are not used to making business decisions and it can show at job interviews, especially if the interviewer has no understanding of the military. Younger veterans are used to being told to shut up and color, and not stand out. They struggle to show their personality during a civilian job interview, often limiting their success because of their military service. Even if the veteran is successful at finding a job, they can struggle because they do not know where the line is and what they can and can’t do when placed in questionable situations.     

In the military, you know your place and where the line is, you have been told or it’s in the regulations. As a civilian, the line can move depending on the situation and who you are. This is not only a problem for the younger troops, it’s a problem for the older veterans too when they get out. So often in the civilian sector the only guidelines you have is the job description, state, and federal regulations, which can be vague at best. In the military, you know what the rules are, and you can find them in the regulations when needed. In the civilian world the rules change depending on who you are, most employees know who the bosses favorite is and must adjust, often nepotism plays a part when it comes to different rules for different people. This can lead to veterans questioning who they can trust, who they can count on, and who’s got their back.

The one thing veterans know, when it comes down to it, people in their unit or others in the military have their back. Even if you have had issues with someone in your unit, when there is a life or death situation they will be there. That is a comforting feeling for anyone, but in the civilian world veterans don’t know who they can or can’t trust and who has their back.

I have seen some military veterans struggle for years, and Jason is no different. Jason has been out of the military for 10 years and has held multiple unfulfilling jobs. He has decided to come to college and try to get a degree to help him get a better job. Jason struggles because he felt successful while in the Army and feels like a failure since he has gotten out. He has had to take menial just jobs to get by. Many veterans feel they had a purpose while in the military, but lost their purpose when they got out. Some veterans struggle during job interviews limiting their ability to get good jobs, they don’t know where the line is, and don’t know who they can trust. Some veterans feel they should have stayed in the military because they did not struggle. It is saddening that a veteran feels they need to go back into a profession where they risk their life to have a purpose.  It is unfortunate that society struggles to utilize veteran’s strengths and give them the purpose they need to be successful as a civilian.  

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.