Reintegration Can Be Harder Than Serving

One of the biggest things veterans deal with is re-integration when they get out, military and civilian culture are very different. While serving, active duty members have a lot of rules that don’t exist in the civilian world. Weather someone serves 4 or 30 years, many veterans look forward to getting out until they do, then they remember why we went in. Depending on rank, time in service, or disability it can be harder for some veterans than others to re-integrate back to civilian status. Jason is one of those veterans who has been struggling to re-integrate and become a civilian again.

Jason went in the Army when he was 18 years old and served in Afghanistan at a Forward Operating Bases (FOB). At the FOB Jason would spend a month at a time having to be hypervigilant and taking fire from the enemy. Jason was used to the adrenaline while at the FOB and struggles to get the adrenaline fix he needed when he got out.

While in the military troops are used to being told what to do, in the civilian sector their expected to know what to do by so many employers. Once Jason got out of the Army he struggled to find a job and a purpose. He struggles to answer one on one questions during individual interviews and don’t stand out during group interviews. In the military it is looked down on by superiors to “blow your own horn” which is what is expected from civilians during both individual and group job interviews.      

In the military younger troops like Jason are told what to do, and in the civilian sector they are expected to tell the interviewers what they would do in certain situations. This is where a veteran can struggle. Many younger veterans are not used to making business decisions and it can show at job interviews, especially if the interviewer has no understanding of the military. Younger veterans are used to being told to shut up and color, and not stand out. They struggle to show their personality during a civilian job interview, often limiting their success because of their military service. Even if the veteran is successful at finding a job, they can struggle because they do not know where the line is and what they can and can’t do when placed in questionable situations.     

In the military, you know your place and where the line is, you have been told or it’s in the regulations. As a civilian, the line can move depending on the situation and who you are. This is not only a problem for the younger troops, it’s a problem for the older veterans too when they get out. So often in the civilian sector the only guidelines you have is the job description, state, and federal regulations, which can be vague at best. In the military, you know what the rules are, and you can find them in the regulations when needed. In the civilian world the rules change depending on who you are, most employees know who the bosses favorite is and must adjust, often nepotism plays a part when it comes to different rules for different people. This can lead to veterans questioning who they can trust, who they can count on, and who’s got their back.

The one thing veterans know, when it comes down to it, people in their unit or others in the military have their back. Even if you have had issues with someone in your unit, when there is a life or death situation they will be there. That is a comforting feeling for anyone, but in the civilian world veterans don’t know who they can or can’t trust and who has their back.

I have seen some military veterans struggle for years, and Jason is no different. Jason has been out of the military for 10 years and has held multiple unfulfilling jobs. He has decided to come to college and try to get a degree to help him get a better job. Jason struggles because he felt successful while in the Army and feels like a failure since he has gotten out. He has had to take menial just jobs to get by. Many veterans feel they had a purpose while in the military, but lost their purpose when they got out. Some veterans struggle during job interviews limiting their ability to get good jobs, they don’t know where the line is, and don’t know who they can trust. Some veterans feel they should have stayed in the military because they did not struggle. It is saddening that a veteran feels they need to go back into a profession where they risk their life to have a purpose.  It is unfortunate that society struggles to utilize veteran’s strengths and give them the purpose they need to be successful as a civilian.  

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Are We Telling Our Veterans They’re Broken?

One of the most important things I do, is work with veterans who have disabilities. So many of them suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms, some severe, some not. Most veterans with PTSD are high functioning and can do any job necessary with proper counseling, coping skills, and training. But so often the Veterans Affairs (VA) fails them by pushing psychotropic medications instead of counseling and training on how to enter the workforce with their PTSD properly managed. The VA offers counseling, but many veterans are re-traumatized by some of their methods, discouraging numerous veterans from seeking the treatment offered by the VA. Sean is one of those veterans who was let down by the VA. Sean is an intelligent, resourceful, and educated Army veteran with two tours in Iraq. Sean suffers from PTSD and refuses to utilize the VA to help control his PTSD. Sean had used the VA in the past and was given medication, which he now refuses to take. Sean’s PTSD is extreme, and he struggles daily just to attend his college classes. He continually question’s his ability to hold a job because of his PTSD and hopes college will help him gain the necessary confidence and skills to be successful. Part of what so many veterans, including Sean, must overcome are businesses fear of hiring veterans because they dread PTSD in the workplace. They don’t want to be responsible if someone “goes off” while at work.  

The VA is not helping because they're quick to give disability checks to those who have PTSD for the rest of their lives due to civilian pressure. Why should veterans work or find a job, when there’s no incentive to get better? The VA tells them they are broken because they are 100% disabled. In the VA’s defense, they do bring many veterans with PTSD back for re-evaluation every few years, but veterans have no reason to get better. After their PTSD diagnosis, many veterans are not required to complete therapy that can help them learn to manage their PTSD.

I understand this is quite controversial, everyone, including me, a 20-year combat veteran feel the VA needs to do their job and take care of our veterans. But what we know from so many of our WWII, Korean, and Vietnam veterans is, people with PTSD can live totally productive lives if they are not treated like they are broken and without purpose. Sean is one of those people who feels broken and without purpose. He believes he is going to struggle to get jobs because of his PTSD, he now has a defeatist, victim mentality.

What the VA needs to do is give effective personalized treatment for PTSD and continually monitor those who get disability checks for their PTSD. The VA is set up to reward veterans for maintaining their PTSD. The VA should educate veterans to find employment that will be better tolerated by vets with PTSD. Employers need to make a concerted effort to employ our veterans with good paying jobs and trust them, even those with managed PTSD. There are veterans who need to be 100% disabled because of their PTSD because they cannot function in society, but if a veteran can go to college and graduate, then they should be able to learn to manage their PTSD and re-enter the workforce, giving them back their sense of purpose.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro. 

Still Fighting the System After all These Years

Since I retired in 2004 I have been fighting the Veterans Administration (VA) over issues brought on by the abuse my body took after 20 years in the Air Force. One of the biggest mistakes I made was not complaining about physical issue while in the military. Like most military members I was shamed and guilted into not complain about any medical issues, and ridiculed if I did not press on unless the issue was life threatening. I rarely went to sick call or the doctor. When I did seek medical treatment, it was for colds and viruses, seldom for aches and pains from abuse my body was taking. When I did go to the doctor for aches and pains I was given “Air Force candy”, Motrin. I knew the treatment so I did not go, I went to the Base Exchange and got my own Motrin. When I reached my 30’s the physical abuse of my body started catching up with me. I still didn’t complain and pressed on like a good Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO).

When I retired I remember telling my wife, I’ve got to quit being a truck mechanic. I could not continue to bend wrenches and jump off the back of trucks like I used to, it was too hard on my body and the pains were catching up with me. I decided to go back to school so I could get a desk job and stop abusing my body the way I had for 20 years. About a year and a half after I retired, I struggled to walk without severe pain. I was surprised when I was told by the doctor I needed surgery on both knees, I did not think they were that bad. As I get older I find myself falling apart with a lot of medical issues including aches and pains that I believe are directly relate to the abuse my body took while in the Air Force.

After receiving another denial letter from the VA for issues I am suffering, I spent an entire day going through my military medical records looking for evidence to support my claim. I did find some evidence but not enough to show a chronic issue. There was little in there because we were shamed and guilted into not complaining. If I couldn’t do PT, my job, deploy, or whatever it took to get the job done I would be considered weak and dispensable, so I didn’t complain about my twisted ankles, hurting knees, back, shoulders, and any other joints that I have been abusing for years, I just “walked it off” like a good troop. Of course, there’s not much documentation of my issues in my official medical records, I didn’t complain, I continued to do my work through the pain, thus causing more damage.

There comes a point in time to where common sense needs to prevail with the VA compensation section. Almost everyone who has spent time in the military knows that they’re probably going to be physical issues stemming from the abuse their bodies took while serving their country. Carrying 100-pound rucksack, working on equipment, jumping off trucks, tanks, Bradley’s, or whatever plays hell on ankles, knees, back, hips, and shoulders. There is also little doubt that we have a higher probability of developing hearing issues. Most equipment, weapons, explosions, aircraft, and various other loud noises create a high decibel level which can cause prolong hearing loss.

After continuing to fight the system I understand why people give up, it looks to me like the system is rigged. You can’t be awarded a claim because you didn’t complain, you were told to “shut up and color” or considered weak if your body couldn’t take the abuse while serving. I understand there are those who abuse the system, and they should be weeded out. But I also know that if I hadn’t served 20 years in the military I would not be having the body aches and pains I presently have. My body took abuse for 20 years and I could not complain, this has put me in the position I’m in now, no evidence. I have decided I am going to fight the VA until the day I die, if for no other reason, principle. For those of you out there who feel the same way I do, all I can say is don’t give up. Be a good troop and press on.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

The Battles Continue for Veterans

I met Frank at the Vet center where he is going to college. Frank is an operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF) veteran with two tours, he has seen more than any 27-year-old should ever have to. He is struggling to work through what happened while he was deployed and since his return to the “real world”. Since his return home he has been battling multiple fronts and having to fight different fights. Frank was married and has a six-year-old daughter, now he is divorced and lives alone. He has been battling with the Veterans Administration (VA) over his disability, causing frustration and anger. He has been going to college but struggles dealing with the younger generation. He has recently added a battle within himself, the battle over how he feels about his time in Iraq. His emotional issues have taken over his life. Not only is he battling what he saw and had to do in Iraq, he is having to deal with emotional issues that followed him home.

Those issues have played a huge part in his families struggles. He and his wife have divorced like so many other veterans’ whose relationships have suffered the same fate. When Frank left for the first deployment he was not married. He did not want to get married to his girlfriend because he worried he would not make it back. The first deployment affected him a little, but he felt it was nothing he could not handle. After his first deployment he and his girlfriend got married and had a daughter. They had been married about 3 years and he was again called to deploy. This time he had a wife and daughter to be concerned about. Like all good troops he went and did his duty. Frank explained how he remembers the first time his problem with PTSD was noticed. After about 8 months in theatre Frank’s Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge (NCOIC) started to get concerned, he noticed Frank had become careless and would lose his temper more often. He finished his deployment and returned home to his wife and daughter. When Frank returned, he was happy, but it was not long before the return honeymoon period ended. About a year later his wife left with his daughter because of his drinking.  Frank was not the same guy she fell in love with. Up until this point Frank had been reluctant to get help from the VA. He finally took that step for help, but it was too late for his relationship.     

When Frank finally took the step to get help from the VA, another battle started. The VA is a huge bureaucratic nightmare and can be frustrating. His first step was behavioral health, he was placed on a waitlist. He soon became frustrated and came to see me while waiting for his spot to open up. About 2 months later he was called and given an appointment. Once it was all said and done, he received an 80% disability rating for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). During this time working through the VA bureaucracy he decided to start college.

Frank explained how he was nervous about going to college. No one in his family had taken that step. He started using his post-911 education benefits. He soon found that there were battles he had to fight in college too. The college is a state-run institution and the education program is a federal program. Frank had to deal with two different bureaucracies, as a rule bureaucracies do not play well with each other. Once he was done with battling dueling bureaucracies he had to deal with immature students.  These students don’t understand him and asked, “stupid questions” like “did you kill someone?” or “was the war worth it?” This became a battle he had to deal with, he had to maintain his composure and keep calm. They did appear to affect him, because he started to have another battle within himself, was the war worth it since ISIS had taken large chunks of Iraq?    

Frank, like some other veterans now question what they were fighting for. He was glued to the TV for a while when ISIS invaded Iraq and the Iraqi Army lost control of the land they had fought so hard, shed blood, and died for. He has stopped watching the news because it brings up the negative emotions he has been trying to suppress. Even before ISIS took over parts of Iraq he was struggling to deal with the cost of the war. Frank tells very few about how he feels about the wars. He converses with other veterans who have spoken up, but he keeps his comments to a minimum. He is caught in a battle with himself and his feelings, he does not know how to feel. Frank feels if he does not care about what is going on in Iraq then he is disloyal to those who we lost. If he feels anger all his emotions he has worked hard to suppress will arise. Frank feels he should want to go back and recover what he had fought so hard for.

I am seeing more and more veterans struggling with the situation in IRAQ and I don’t see an end to it. I have talked to several in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines who, like Frank don’t know how to feel. They mourn the loss and casualties of their brothers, while questioning whether it was all worth it. This is a hard place to be, it is difficult to feel your brothers died in vain, it’s a hard pill to swallow but many are starting to fight the battle. These are the same feelings the Vietnam veterans have been feeling for years, was it worth it. Only the individual veterans can answer that question.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Its Holiday Season Again

It’s coming quickly, the family gatherings, traveling to see loved ones, but the holidays can be a trigger for someone with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Often, we know there is something that causes some of those with PTSD to not want to take part in family get-togethers, but we can’t quite put our finger on why. Some family members know that it can be family dynamics or worse childhood trauma. I most families there are family secrets and some folks struggle to keep the family secret because it caused their PTSD. George and I were talking about the upcoming holidays and what his plans were. George was in the Army and decided to get out after a training incident killed a fellow soldier. As George was talking about the incident that caused his PTSD, I had assumed it was from the accident. Surprisingly it had nothing to do with the accident, it had to do with family.

George explained the tell tail signs of PTSD and I assumed it was due to the accident. After we talked a while, I discovered it was not the accident that caused his PTSD. George was sexually molested by a family member while staying at their home over the holidays when he was 12 years old. Even though it happened over 40 years ago it still affects his life, especially around Christmas. Throughout the years George has never set up a Christmas tree in his house since he became an adult. He was also the first person to volunteer to work during Christmas, so he did not have to participate in family gatherings. George never put together the reasons he did not want a Christmas tree, or why he disliked family gatherings and Christmas. We discovered during a session that he was triggered by the smell of Christmas trees. So often the trauma that caused the PTSD comes from childhood trauma, just like Georges and it is not even realized by themselves or family. Family gatherings can be a big trigger for someone who was assaulted by a family member because the victim feels that others know the secret, or they might have to face their abuser, so they choose not to go or try and avoid the situation.

When someone is a veteran family tend to believe that a veteran’s trauma comes from military service, and George played along with the accident as the reason for his behavior. But in Georges’ case came from childhood and the accident made his PTSD symptoms worse. One study shows that only six present of PTSD comes from combat. Family members are one of the leading perpetrators in childhood trauma. This abuse can be anywhere from neglect, assault, molestation and sexual assault. About 90% of children who are victims of sexual abuse know their abuser. Approximately 30% of children who are sexually abused are abused by family members. I know that abuse in the family is something that is not talked about. I have been told stories that the abused child spoke up about the abuse and was not believed or worse told to shut up and not say anything about the incident. The triggers usually arise when someone with PTSD is forced to face their abuser over the holidays because family expects them to come to the gathering not knowing the abuser or perpetrator is there. Unfortunately, this happens more than it is admitted too or even known about.

Families need to become aware of the triggers that can arise during the holidays. The signs of trigger’s usually start about a month before the holiday. I would like family members to be aware of why their loved one with PTSD might struggle over the holidays. The issues above are just a few that those with PTSD have over the holidays. I just wanted family members and even folks with PTSD to understand why they might struggle over the holidays. George never linked the lack of participation in family gatherings during the holidays with his PTSD. I challenged George to put up a Christmas tree this year, we will see if he does.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

The Holiday Stress

John came to session and was upset about what he had to do over the holidays because of the pressure placed on him by family members. John gets upset because he feels his extended family believes he is working the system. John is unable to work because of his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and is getting Veterans Administration (VA) disability. John has a combat tour in Iraq and another in Afghanistan and spent 2 of his 6 years in the Army deployed. He now lives with decisions he had to make while deployed. I am in constant awe of what some of our veterans have endured throughout their young lives. John is only 29 years old and has seen and done more than folks three times his age. John deals with his issues concerning his family by isolating, especially over the holidays. John chooses not to participate in the gatherings whenever possible because of the way he perceives his family feels about them.

John has spent a lot of his time being alone because of his shame, guilt, and pain of his time in combat. Isolation is a huge sign of depression and the holidays tend to be a trigger. John must travel for the holidays and one of his triggers is driving. He constantly feels pressure from family members to come to the gatherings causing him more anxiety. John feels he is looked down on by family members because he hears comments about him milking the system. John struggles with the way he is being treated and wants to tell them why he is in such pain, but he is too ashamed and feels guilt for what he did in combat. What makes it worse is family who talk about him are very religious and John had to kill people to make it home alive. He is worried about how he will be perceived by his family this year. He feels that if he told them that he would be criticized more for his PTSD.

Most families have no idea how to support their veterans through the holidays. I have researched and found 5 things Geoff Millard; a fellow veteran believes you can do to help your veteran with PTSD through the holidays.

1) Understand why the holidays are hard for veterans. Veterans often deal with “Moral injuries”, having to be OK with what you had to do to get back home, this is especially hard when you are in a religious family where there is a lot of judgement. Survivors guilt is another issue many veterans struggle with. The loss of a loved one in combat can play a huge part in a veteran not wanting to enjoy the holidays. Many families don’t understand the intimacy in combat units can rival the intimacy the military members have with their spouses and families.

2) Communicate with the veterans in your life. It is always best to communicate. Families need to know what the veteran’s needs are, what their fears are, how they want to be supported. Be prepared to hear the unpleasant because they might need something you don’t want to do. The reality might be is you are a part of the problem.

3) Never shame or “guilt trip” veterans. Often veterans can’t do things they used to do both physically and mentally because of their physical pain. Don’t shame them for the inability to do fun things, especially involving crowds. Some veterans have physical ailments and can’t chase the kids around or play with them the way they used to.

4) Prepare family members before any visits. Talk to the veteran first about what you plan to tell other family members. Ask your veteran what you can and cannot tell others about their private business, especially if it is related to medical conditions. Also discuss the need to bring up alcohol if it is an issue for the veteran. Remember do not tell stories or things that are not yours to tell. If you tell too much it can cause stress for the veteran and an erosion of trust between you and them.

5) Find new traditions. Do not give up on having fun during the holidays, but instead build new traditions as you grow together. Look for ways to do things different. These changes can be as simple as no black Friday shopping, eating desert first at holiday dinner, not going to extended family gatherings, there are multiple things you can do to help them not feel guilt for their inability to do what families see as normal.

It is important to be creative, and above all do not give up on each other. Veterans struggle with the holidays for reasons that are often not their fault. It is helpful if you choose to adapt to their needs instead of forcing them to do what you want them to do. Try not to place them in a bad situation that might cause a trigger and ruin the holidays for all involved.

Have a great holiday and enjoy your time together!

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Some Veterans Struggle Over the Holidays

Everyone wants to enjoy the holidays, but for some veterans and their families the holidays are the most stressful time of the year. JoAnn’s family is one of those families. Joanne’s husband Steve, is a veteran who gets depressed and becomes aggressive over the holidays. Steve is triggered around the holidays and tries to stay away from extended family. Steve’s Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) holds him back from enjoying the holidays, and in turn causes JoAnn to dread the holidays. What Joanne is dealing with is not abnormal, thousands of families suffer from someone’s PTSD over the holidays. What’s different is Steve’s PTSD did not come from the military but his childhood. Every Christmas Steve must face the people who abused him as a child. Like so many people who have been abused by family members, Steve did not tell anyone about the abuse because of the shame, guilt and threats by the abuser. 

Like Steve, many people join the military to escape their home situation. Steve was raised in a domestically violent household and was abused by his uncle at age 8. Steve saw his mother beaten on several occasions, and he was the brunt of the abuse on multiple occasions. Steve, being the oldest of 3 children, felt the need to run interference for his siblings to protect them. At age 18 Steve had enough and went in the Army to escape the abusive situation. Steve now struggles with the holidays because he is pressured into spending time with those who abused him. He has guilt and shame to go along with his PTSD due to the abuse.

Many of those who were abused harbor ill feelings toward other family members who should have stopped the abuse. I have worked with multiple veteran’s who joined the military to escape their situation whether it’s domestic violence or sexual abuse. By forcing veterans to visit their families you may be triggering events that you did not know about, or understand. Some spouses know what happened to their veteran during childhood, but wonder why they struggle to attend family events with their family who did nothing to them. The veteran could be feeling they are betraying their family by spending time with yours and not theirs, often this puts them in a tough emotional situation.

As a therapist I understand all the different situations and the makeups of family systems. Families can be tough to deal with on a regular basis, add in the expectations brought on by the holidays and excess stress can become intolerable. The holidays can be a favorite time of the year for some, and the worst time for others. If your veteran struggles over the holidays there is usually a reason. Whether it comes from combat or childhood trauma, there are triggers everywhere for those who suffer from PTSD. By understanding the reasoning behind not wanting to go to family events and crowds, it can make both your lives easier and save a lot of frustration and fear for both of you. Just remember not all PTSD comes from military service. Some comes from family situations that has nothing to do with you or your family. The holidays can be tough on everyone, but it can also be a time of joy and happiness. If you or your spouse struggle over the holidays, please get help because you deserve to be happy and enjoy the holidays.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Think of Those Who Sacrifice for us Over the Holidays

Jack is a Marine with two tours in Iraq and struggles during the holidays. As a mental health clinician I see problems the general public don’t see, or want to see. The holidays are especially stressful to some military and veterans families, especially those dealing with deployments and the aftermath of those deployments. Being a combat veteran myself and being deployed for the birth of my second son, multiple Christmases, Thanksgivings, birthdays, ball games, recitals and anniversaries I understand the difficulties faced by these troops and their families. Jack was deployed to Iraq during the holidays for both tours and struggles this time of year. During his second tour his patrol was attacked resulting in the death of his troop Javier. Jack blames himself for the loss, he feels he didn’t have his “head in the game” because he believed he was distracted because of his family and lives with Javier’s death every day.  

Jack described the re-occurring thoughts and dreams of Javier’s death, who died in his arms two days after Christmas. He continually thinks of Javier, especially around the holidays. He has seen others die but he is especially troubled with Javier’s death because he knew him well, feels responsible, and he had a wife and two children. Routinely he contacts Javier’s widow to check on her and the children. Every Christmas he sends Javier’s family presents. He wears a bracelet with Javier’s name on it as a commitment to him and a reminder of his perceived “failures”.  Jack is consumed by survivor’s guilt and feels he doesn’t deserve to be happy, Javier’s children don’t have a father “because of him”. That is a tough thing to live with every day of your life. Every day he tries to cope while struggling with his own family and feeling guilty he is alive.  

Not all of us have a story like Jack’s. Many veterans have missed the holidays due to their service. One of the biggest sacrifices in the service to our country is the families of those deployed, they continually get overlooked. With deployments continually happening over the 12 years after Desert Storm and the 16 years of war, many military families have had to deal with 28 years of multiple deployments to the Middle East and various other locations. Many families are used to their loved ones being gone over the holidays, it’s what’s required and what they do.  During my 20 years in the Air Force I only missed 3 Thanksgivings and Christmases because of deployments. Those deployments were tougher on my family than me, I was too busy and continued to work.

In allot of cases the families continue to move on, some feel guilt, some are angry, some are use to it, and some struggle to hold the family together. The holidays are always a stressful time of year for most families, place a loved one in a war zone and the stress is three fold. Some visit relatives while the member is deployed, some stay at their military base or in their community. Either way these families are struggling to hold their relationships and children together. Many younger children do not understand why daddy is not home for the holidays, it’s hard on everyone. 

Jack is working on moving forward in his life, he is finally getting counseling, but many veterans continue to struggle beside their families. Jack is lucky, his wife is very supportive and understanding. She has every reason to leave but doesn’t even though he is not the man she married. She is just as brave as Jack.

I would like everyone to think about those military members, families, and veterans who are serving or served our country over the holidays. Think of those families who’s loved ones are deployed. Think of those families that have lost loved ones and will never have them home again. Think of those that were wounded and will never have their life the way it was, and also think about those that have lost their buddies and live with the guilt. Think about the spouses and children of those who went to war and came back a different person. To some veterans and their families the holidays are tough on them. If you know of a friend or family member struggling, encourage them get help, it’s just a phone call away. Support them when you can, especially the holidays.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.