PTSD Is Not Always Combat Related

Johnathan came into session upset that his family feels his problems that brought on his Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is no different than anyone else’s issues and minimizes his fears. Johnathan struggles himself with is PTSD diagnosis because it was not caused by combat. Johnathan’s PTSD came from an incident that happened while he was in the Army but did not come from what everyone expects. Johnathan’s PTSD came from a vehicle accident that happened during training. Johnathan discussed how the Humvee he was riding in rolled down a mountain while he was serving at Ft. Wainwright Alaska. The accident occurred on the bombing range on the back side of Ft. Wainwright, they were alone while driving from one location to another and it took hours for someone to find them. Johnathan was stranded in the Humvee for hours beside his troop who was killed in the accident.    

Johnathan states his spouse; Evelin and his family don’t understand or want to understand what he is going through. Johnathan disclosed that he feels his family looks at his issues as no reason to have PTSD because people have automobile accidents every day.  Johnathan’s family don’t see his PTSD as anything different, they struggle to understand why Johnathan suffers and others don’t who have been in an auto accident. Johnathan’s family makes him feel invisible and refuses to make concessions for his PTSD and just looks at him as being weird. Johnathan was not married or have children while he was in the Army and struggled the rest of the time he was in; he has been dealing with the loss of his troop since the incident. Johnathan began to drink heavily causing him to fall out of favor with his command causing more issues. Johnathan’s family did not know him before the accident and never knew him without his PTSD.

Johnathan recently realized through counseling that he has been going throughout life accommodating his PTSD. Johnathan found job’s that allow him to feel safe with his PTSD which helped hide the PTSD symptoms. But his family continues to not understand. Johnathan feels the sacrifices he has gone through has been unnoticed because his family feels his PTSD is not valid because it was not due to combat. He believes his family looks at his incident as just another automobile accident. Not the fact that he was stuck for an extended time with a dead troop beside him in the Humvee. Johnathan has stopped talking to his family about his triggers because they blow them off and don’t take it seriously. With his family blowing off his triggers Johnathan feels invisible.

One of the biggest things I see in our veteran population is people discounting the sacrifices of those who’s military service’s PTSD did not involve combat. It appears to most people, even combat veterans, that those who did not deploy should not look at their PTSD as the same as a combat veteran’s. The people around Johnathan discount his experiences because they believe Johnathan’s automobile accident is no different than the thousands of accidents that happen in the country every day. What his family does not understand is auto accidents cause more PTSD than combat… it just not talked about. Johnathan continues to struggle with his PTSD because his family discounts his experiences casing him to feel invisible and helpless.

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For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Comparing Trauma Can Be Harmful

Kevin and Katrina have been married for 10 years. Kevin is a medically retired Army veteran with 3 tours in Iraq. According to Kevin and Katrina, Kevin appeared to be doing OK until he was medically discharged from the Army for his Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) and lost his purpose and identity. Kevin has struggled to maintain any kind of employment and feels the pressure to keep a job from Katrina. Kevin also feels the pressure from her family because he is not “providing” for his wife. Katrina is a few years older than Kevin and was raised by a Vietnam veteran, William, who she adores and feels can do no wrong.

After discussing Kevin’s situation with him and his medical retirement I started to dig into the issues he is having concerning his PTSD, TBI, and family. Kevin feels Katrina is being too hard on him because of his PTSD and not understanding his struggles. Kevin feels Katrina is comparing his experiences with her father’s because he was in war too. Kevin suspects William has PTSD and has been hiding it for years because he has seen some of the signs of in William but Katrina refuses to see it and always changes the subject. Kevin believes William is playing a part in Katrina’s hard-core feelings about Kevin’s PTSD and his inability to hold down a job.

Kevin describes how Katrina continually calls him out for not wanting to go anywhere or do anything. She continually tells Kevin to get over it and move on. Katrina believes her dads wartime experiences are comparable to Kevin’s. She reminds Kevin that her dad had been through Vietnam and was ok and that Kevin should be OK also. Kevin struggles to visit Katrina’s family with her because he feels he is being judged because of his PTSD & TBI by them.

William talks down to Kevin every time he sees him. Kevin stated that the tension can be felt as soon as he walked into the room with William. William has even told Kevin, I’ve seen combat too, I was able to get on with my life, not become a victim, and depend on the Veterans Administration (VA) for a paycheck. William reminds Kevin every chance he gets that he came home and was treated like crap by society, but he refused to let it bother him and moved on, and Kevin should do the same. William had gotten a good job as a heavy equipment operator and had made a decent living. William admitted to Kevin that he does struggle with his own issues but found a way around them and Kevin needed to do the same.

What William does not understand is Kevin’s PTSD goes back to his childhood. Kevin went into the military to escape the abuse he took in the foster care system as a child. Kevin went into the Army with PTSD and his service exacerbated his symptoms. William appears to not care about Kevin’s background and feels he should grow up and be a “man” and take care of his daughter. It is interesting that Katrina does not like the way her father is talking about Kevin, but she continues to harp on Kevin about not being able to get past his PTSD.

What Katrina cannot understand is she was drawn to Kevin because of his PTSD. Katrina can live with Kevin’s PTSD because she sees the same things in her father - the outburst, the secrecy, the triggers, the lack of empathy, and the signs of narcissism. Katrina has seen all of it before and believes if her father could get past it, so should Kevin. What Katrina does not understand is she is doing more harm than good to Kevin’s psychologically. Katrina is what we call a “bootstrapper” She believes Kevin should just pull himself up by his bootstraps and move on just like her father did. Katrina is making a big mistake because she is comparing Kevin’s PTSD to her father’s. The problem is they are a lot different and she can’t see it.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Vets Continue to Support Each Other

I was at the LA book fair and talking to a couple of fellow veteran authors about what we miss about the military. Some said they missed the traveling, others missed the friendships, while others miss the structure, but all of us agreed that we miss most is the comradery. Having the ability to be around others who have been in similar situations is irreplaceable. We all understand each other; we can joke around and pick on each other and display our dark sense of humor without being judged. One of the biggest things we have in common is having to adapt quickly to new situations, including dealing with people we do not know. For the most part we were all assigned to places that were away from our home towns. We also had to leave our families for the unknown. We have all been placed in the same boat at one time or another. We were forced to move away from family, high school friends, and acquaintances. All military members have been sent into a situation where we were ordered to a new environment or situation where we knew no one. That is what we all had in common, we had to find a way to adapt to the new environment and depend on strangers. Those strangers become the ones we trusted, even though we came from a different race, or background, we all needed to place our biases aside to reach a common goal… the mission.

When we were “home” we had our high school friends and family members to help with us with what we needed to get done. When we joined the military, we lost the help from those relationships we have fostered throughout our lives. We struggled to relate to civilian classmates and friends because time passed and we changed because the military changed who we were, we struggled to relate to our civilian friends. Those friends and family were hundreds if not thousands of miles away and often had a different outlook on life than we had. We had become accustomed to the loss of relationships as we moved on from assignment to assignment, lost friends to combat and suicide. We became hardened to the realities of life and our attitude displayed the change. The idea of moving on became our norm as we went forward with our duty.  

As we moved on to new assignments, we would not know anyone. We would get to our new assignment nervous of what we were getting into. For the most part we would arrive with no friends, family, feeling alone and vulnerable. What we didn’t realize was there were a lot of people there who have been in the same situation and were willing to help. They often would volunteer to help you because they have been there too. They soon become your family of choice, those you depend on throughout your tour. They were there to help you make the transition, often this carried over to the spouses.  

Those of us who were married always had the single folks at our house. Especially during the holidays, they were hard on everyone, especially the single folks. Food was always the key to making things work. The single folks had few chances to get home cooked meals. They would visit and spend the holidays and birthdays with their family of choice. Get togethers were common and bonds were made. Cookouts became the norm with multiple families getting together with their kids and the single troops from the barracks. As we moved from assignment to assignment or went back “home” we still remember the support we had while in the military and we missed it.   

At the book fair as we discussed what we missed, it was evident that the bond we have between all of us was strong because we have all been in the same situations at one time or another. It was true, we were all at the book fair to promote our books, but we were also there to support each other. We help each other develop as authors and give constructive criticism. We read each other’s work; we share our work with each other. We toss around ideas and ask questions. We feel safe with each other because it is in our DNA to help each other thrive. Everyone who comes in is welcomed and accepted. In our group we have all generations of veterans from Vietnam to present, we have veteran family members including spouses, children, and brothers and sisters of veterans. We all have connections to the military, and it is nice to feel safe. The group is about writing, but it is also about getting back the relationships we lost once we separated from the military. We usually meet once a month to support each other and float ideas for new books or screenplays. I welcome all veterans and their families to come and check it out. You do not need to be a student at the college. If you have ever thought about writing a book or screen play, we can help you. Hope to see you there.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

The Importance of Spouses in the Recovery Process of TBI & PTSD

I see a lot of spouses who do not understand the VA system. Judy was frustrated that the VA has so little support for spouses to help with their loved one’s recovery. As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) I have discovered the importance of a spouse’s role in the recovery of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Spouses are the key to the recovery of our combat troops who have the signature issues of the recent wars, PTSD and TBI. Part of the problem is the VA will not allow spouses to get therapy from the VA on how to understand and work through PTSD and TBI in their loved one. The lack of support for spouses from the VA is measurable if you look at the divorce rate.

A study conducted by a professor at Brigham Young University found that combat veterans relationships were 62% more likely to end in separation or divorce than their civilian counterpoints. Often the combat experience is a risk factor in ending a relationship. Combat trauma seems to be an issue when people are trying to maintain a successful relationship. PTSD causes a veteran to act irrationally when they are triggered. It appears combat is especially an issue if the couple was married before deployment. The non-combat spouse to needs time to mourn the loss of what they had and accept the new normal. This takes therapy, something the VA is not providing for spouses. If the VA was willing to work with spouses one on one to explain PTSD and TBI to them, the divorce rate might decrease along with the suicide rate. If the marriage starts after deployment, it is more likely the relationship can survive because you don’t have the past to mourn. 

The VA states they prioritize their work with spouses for those of veterans who have died or have serious injury incurred in the line of duty, but isn’t PTSD and TBI a serious injury? The biggest difference is you cannot see PTSD or internal TBI. Congress does not want to add services for spouses because of the cost. It appears that the VA’s fear is the general population does not want to pay for serving spouses at the VA. There are people in the civilian community who would squawk about the costs if the VA started taking on the spouses too. The problem is, especially when it comes to mental health, it takes a toll on a spouse living with someone who has PTSD. The demands of being married to someone with PTSD can and does cause its own set of issues in the spouse.

Wouldn’t it be less expensive to allow spouses to have individual counseling? I believe it would. If the spouse understands what they are seeing they might have the ability to head off some of the issues the veterans goes to the VA for. It is possible the spouse could spot triggers in the veteran decreasing triggers. It is also possible the spouse could spot suicidality of their spouse decreasing the 20 to 22 a day veterans’ suicide rates. The VA does offer couples counseling but that can be an issue for the veteran. The spouse needs to be free to discuss what their living with and it is more likely the spouse would be apprehensive to discuss their feelings in couples counseling. Some of the conversations can be problematic for a combat veteran if they get triggered by the discussion of their issues by their spouses. Spouses need individual counseling to help them understand what their seeing in their spouse. Spouses don’t know how to help because no one is teaching them what they need to do.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

[FOR OCTOBER] Marines & Families of Marines Take Note (Copy)

October is Cancer Awareness month, so I thought discussing an issue that not all Marines and their families know about was warranted. Contaminated water at Camp Lejeune North Carolina has been linked to multiple medical conditions including various kinds of cancer. I was talking to Josh about some of his health issues he had been fighting for years. I did not put Josh’s time in the Marines and his illness together until I ran across the contaminated water issue at Lejeune while doing research for another project I was working on. It appears Marines and their families stationed at Camp Lejeune during a 34-year period had been exposed to contaminated water. I found out that Josh was stationed at Lejeune for his entire 4 years in the Corps. I talked to him about what I had discovered and that this could be a part of his medical issues and that he should check it out.  

The years Marines and their family were exposed to the contaminated water at Camp Lejeune are from 1953 to 1987. As in the past with issues, it took 30 years for the Department of the Navy, Marines, and the VA to admit there was a major health problem concerning Marines and their families assigned to Lejeune. On January 13, 2017, congress gave the VA permission to issue a new rule creating a presumption that certain diseases are eligible for disability benefits. These benefit’s involves Active Duty, Reserve, and National Guard members who served at Camp Lejeune for a minimum of 30 days (cumulative) between August 1, 1953 and December 31, 1987 and their families. For Vietnam and Gulf War veterans, we know what its like to have a presumptive issue. It’s no fun fighting the VA so be prepared to deal with a long, drawn out bureaucracy.    

As we all know, families are not allowed to seek medical care at the VA. Families that served with their Marine at Camp Lejeune during the designated times need to be aware of the presumptive heath issues. By law, the VA can only compensate for eligible out-of-pocket expenses. After a family member has been diagnosed with a presumptive illness, other health plans have paid their part, the VA will pick up the out of pocket costs. It is important that the family members primary care physician know about Camp Lejeune and the possible illness linked to the time spent there. This includes the children who lived on the base during the timeframe. This rule is not the VA’s fault, its congress’. By law, only congress can approve the VA to see dependents even if the military is the cause of the illness.

Remember managing your expectations is imperative when dealing with the VA. It is not fair that the military placed you in the position you are in, but it is not the person’s fault who’s working with you either.  When dealing with a bureaucracy like the VA, you can easily get frustrated and give up. Even if you do not trust the VA or like them, it is imperative you get on the Camp Lejeune contaminated water registry, if not for your health but for your family’s health. If you or your family were stationed at Camp Lejeune anytime from 1953 to 1987, please act. The instructions tell you to enroll on-line, I would go to the VA in person and get on the registry to ensure you get documentation.      

VETERANS ENROLL IN VA HEALTH CARE

• Go to the VA. Have your DD-214. If you have documentation of your service at Lejeune take it also.

• Inform VA that you served on active duty at Camp Lejeune for at least 30 days anytime in the period of August 1, 1953 and December 31, 1987. If you are already enrolled contact your local VA health care facility at their website http://www.va.gov/ directory/guide/ to sign up for the Camp Lejeune Program and receive VA care.

• Not yet enrolled? Apply online at https://www.va.gov/health-care/apply/application/introduction or call toll-free at 1-877-222-8387.

FAMILY MEMBERS GATHER DOCUMENTS

• Show your relationship to a Veteran, such as a marriage license or birth certificate.

• The VA will assist you with verifying residency on Camp Lejeune during the covered timeframe. GATHER QUALIFYING EXPENSE RECEIPTS

• APPLY FOR REIMBURSEMENT

• Apply online at https://www.clfamilymembers.fsc.va.gov or call toll-free 1- 866-372-1144.

QUALIFYING HEALTH CONDITIONS INCLUDE:

• Bladder cancer

• Lung cancer                

• Hepatic steatosis                      

• Breast cancer               

• Multiple myeloma                   

• Miscarriage

• Esophageal cancer                   

• Myelodysplastic syndromes

• Neurobehavioral effects           

• Kidney cancer

• Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma      

• Renal toxicity

• Leukemia                                

• Female infertility

• Scleroderma

For questions or comments, we can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Can Cannabis Help with Pain Management & PTSD?

Veterans have been using marijuana for decades to help with pain management and Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) symptoms. The problem is the Veterans Administration (VA) follows governmental, not state guidelines concerning marijuana. Since marijuana is a schedule 1 drug according to the federal government, the VA is not allowed to help veterans attain, suggest, or prescribe marijuana. A schedule 1 drug is defined by the Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) as a drug with no currently accepted medical use and a high potential for abuse. Sounds a little antiquated with it being considered equal to heroin, LSD, and ecstasy.

I have worked with and known hundreds of veterans with PTSD, I can honestly say it appears that cannabis helps them. With so many states now allowing the use of medical and recreational marijuana the federal government appears to be unwilling to authorize or extensively study cannabis even though it appears to be helpful to so many veterans. From what I can tell, there have been, or are doing limited studies on marijuana but not the extent that is needed. It is also possible the VA is studying it in secret because of the stigma. The only reason I can see for the government’s unwillingness to de-criminalize marijuana is because of how it looks and the stigma. To the government, marijuana is worse than opioids because opioids can be and are prescribed, therefore controlled. People are going to use pot if they want, it makes no sense in trying to stop it, it has and always will fail, and it is a waste of resources and money. I have seen where several veterans have used marijuana instead of opioids, and it has worked for them. Marijuana is often called a gateway drug. If you want to talk about a gateway drug… prescription opioids it is. Just ask someone who has beaten the opioid addiction.

I know some will disagree with me, but I honestly believe marijuana is better than alcohol or opioids. If you look at it from a logical point, allowing the legal use and distribution of marijuana makes sense. How many bar fights have been caused by using marijuana?  How many domestic violence cases have you heard of from marijuana use? There are very few if any. How much damage has marijuana done to families compared to alcohol or opioids? In my opinion pot appears to be a better than either.

The VA states on their website that they encourage veterans to tell their primary care physician that they use marijuana, and by telling their primary care physician it will not cause the veteran to lose their benefits. The VA will put the information in the veteran’s medical records, and it will remain confidential and protected by Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA).  The VA also states that VA providers can talk about marijuana use with clients as a part of their planning and adjust treatment, but may not recommend its use. It is possible that the use of marijuana could interfere in the effectiveness of prescribed medications. The VA doctors are not allowed to write prescriptions for medical marijuana even if it is legal in the residing state.

I can see where having marijuana use in medical records could cause an issue for the veteran. The VA is always changing the rules, I don’t think I would want marijuana use in my medical records for fear of it being used against me in the future. Even though possessing marijuana in some states is legal, it is not allowed on VA property. You can be arrested for possession of a controlled substance if you’re caught with it on VA grounds, even if it’s prescribed by a civilian doctor. VA grounds are federal property, and marijuana is still a schedule 1 drug to them.

There have been several civilian studies that show marijuana can replace opioids for some pain management. A study done in 2014 shows that one state that legalized cannabis has had a decrease in opioid overdose deaths by 25%. The VA says their scientists may conduct research on marijuana benefits, risks, and potential for abuse under regulatory approval but the funding needed is not available. The limited funding for marijuana research mainly comes from the government, yes, the same government that has labeled marijuana a schedule 1 drug. Most of this research focuses on addiction, abuse, and other potentially detrimental effects of marijuana. Little research focuses on the positive aspects of marijuana causing the research to be skewed toward the negative. 

Marijuana acts differently in everyone, what works for one might be a problem for another, just like prescription medication. I also would like to point out that over use of marijuana can cause problems just like any drug.  I’m not going to suggest you quit your medication and use marijuana. If you want to try cannabis, talk to your doctor to see if it is an option. I believe the VA should be doing an extensive research study to see if marijuana works as a replacement for some prescription medication applications for pain management and PTSD symptoms. If the study finds marijuana works, it will save millions of dollars of tax money spent on opioids. If you feel marijuana should be studied by the VA, contact your congressman and demand an unbiased study.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Veterans Are Different in the Workplace

I had Kevin in my office last week and he was worried about being fired from his job. Kevin had two deployments to Iraq and understood the importance of doing things right and taking responsibility. Kevin explained how he missed something that could cost him his job and the company a lot of money. Kevin took responsibility and made no excuses just like a good soldier. He was doing what many veterans do, take responsibility for your mistakes. He was frustrated that others with more experience and knowledge missed it too, but their head was not on the chopping block. The difference, Kevin took responsibility for missing it, the other two threw him under the bus making him the fall guy even though they were just as, or more responsible than Kevin. This is not the first time I have heard of this happening, especially with the troops who just separated and have not adjusted. Things are just different in the “real world” than the military, out here people fends for themselves and don’t care what happens to others.  So often civilians don’t take responsibility for their actions and let others take the fall for their mistakes.

Don’t get me wrong, I know there are military members and veterans who are quick to throw people under the buss to save their butts, been there seen that… multiple times. The difference is, in the military those who save their butts at the expense of others are not trusted and shunned in their military unit. Their lack of loyalty follows them throughout their military service.  I also know there are civilians who have integrity and take responsibility for their mistakes, and they deserve to be trusted. Where military veterans fail is expecting civilians to have the same values as their military family. Veterans need to manage their expectations when it comes to civilian co-workers or civilians in general. Veterans want civilians to think and respond to situations like them, the problem is they can’t. Most civilians have not had to protect each other at all cost like military veterans have. What most civilians have been taught is self-preservation at all costs.

In Kevin’s case his co-workers attitude was, Kevin took the blame, why should I get in trouble too? Kevin’s co-workers rationalize their actions to make themselves feel better believing they had no responsibility in catching the issue even though they had more experience and knowledge. If Kevin’s co-workers took responsibility Kevin might be given the benefit of doubt and be able to keep his job. Instead the others involved will get off scot-free. Many veterans tend to take responsibility for their actions, its not the way the civilian world works, it’s an “I’m in it for myself” mentality. There are some in the civilian community that have the same loyalty and integrity as veterans do, and they deserve to be trusted. It is important that veterans know who they can trust and adapt to in their environment and not expect others to change. Just learn who you can and can’t trust.  

Veterans should not give up their integrity, they need to be aware of each situation and respond accordingly. That blind loyalty they had to their military family is hard to find among civilians and often does not work in the civilian environment. There are a lot of differences between civilians and veteran’s in society, the lack of integrity is a major problem for military veterans once they embark on a new phase of life. In Kevin’s situation, he stood up and took responsibility for his mistakes believing his co-workers would follow suit, they didn’t, now he’s holding the bag and possibly losing his job because he had integrity. What Kevin is learning the hard way is integrity is not valued as a civilian, being honest is a flaw and viewed as a weakness to be exploited by those with less character. We need to ask ourselves, what is this teaching society and our children. The days of my mentor saying to me “at the end of the day, all a man has is his word” are gone. I challenge veterans to hold on to their integrity and be careful who you fall on your sword for. Not everyone deserves it.

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.

Female Veterans’ Struggles can be Different when Re-integrating

As a clinician, I have worked with a lot of female veterans. One of the biggest themes I see from them are the struggles they have when they get out. Females are not seen as warriors in our society, but I beg to differ. I know a lot of strong females who threaten the ego of some men, especially men in the military, and they can pay the price. Males run military and always have. In 1973 females made up 2% of enlisted and 8% of officers. Now female veterans make up 16% of enlisted and 18% of officers. I constantly hear people say females have made it in the military, there are female generals, and female senior Non-Commissioned officers (NCO’s). Some females who make rank do so because they don’t maintain their boundaries where they should. They work hard to try and get into the “good ol’ boys club”, but they never will be let in by a lot of male military members or veterans.  Some high ranking female NCO’s and officers let things slide that shouldn’t, believe it is ok to be talked down too, are ok with inappropriate comments, and look the other way when there is coercion or sexual harassment. Often the way female veterans are treated while in the military carry forward once they become civilians.  

In a recent survey, just over 60% of females indicated that their military service negatively affected their mental health, most often this is negativity tied to military sexual trauma (MST). The survey also showed that female veterans have a higher rate of depression than non-veteran females. The worst part is female veterans have a 250% higher suicide rate than civilian women. So many female veterans struggle once they get out because of the shame and guilt associated with sexual trauma, and are the largest growing segment of homeless veterans. I have talked to a lot of female veterans who did not tell people they were in the military because they feared those they told will know, or believe that they were sexually assaulted or raped. Not only does MST play a part in why women don't say they were in the military, a lot of men who never served are embarrassed they did not serve and a female did.   

This embarrassment men hold is especially true when it comes to job interviews. Multiple female veterans have told me they did not disclose their military service during a job interview with a man. Female veterans also have said that when they interview with women they feel they are treated differently by the women who are doing the hiring if they know they served in the military. I've also been told by female veterans that they steer clear of the veteran’s service organizations (VSO's) because they're only allowed one foot into the good old boys club. Another thing female veterans must struggle with when around male veterans is fearing that a particular male veteran could have easily been a perpetrator while serving in the military making them feel uncomfortable.  

Another issue female veterans deal with is the stereotypes that still exist that women who served in the military are lesbians. Of course, this is not true but to many civilians, especially women and civilians they can't understand why a woman would want to go in such a male-dominated, testosterone filled career. It is also well known that the Veterans Administration (VA) offers less to female veterans than their male counterparts. Only recently has the VA started offering services specifically for female veterans. At the Loma Linda VA, there is a specific clinic set up just for female veterans. This is a huge improvement over the past but they're still is a lot that needs to be done.  

As you can tell by some of the instances discussed, female veterans can have a hard time reintegrating back into the civilian community. It is a shame that female veterans must endure what they do. Female veterans, so often don't feel safe either in the military or the civilian community. They have earned the same respect male veterans have, please give them the respect they have earned.  

For questions or comments, I can be reached at afterdutyvets@gmail.com or visit our website at marriedtoptsdpro.com and like us on Facebook at Married to PTSD Pro.